220 35612 <435hes$5ol@newsbf02.news.aol.com> article Path: ix.netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e1a.megaweb.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: dinoraptor@aol.com (DinoRaptor) Newsgroups: alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die Subject: Washington Capers Date: 12 Sep 1995 22:59:40 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 652 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <435hes$5ol@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: dinoraptor@aol.com (DinoRaptor) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com These are all six episodes of 'Washington Capers' Washington Capers #1 Not all of North America was either pro- or anti-B'harne. Some states were neutral. Washington was such a state. Here both Jihaddi and B'harne minions mingled without fighting but with tension. Julie the Madhi and Nancy walked into the shopping center. Julie wore a mid-calf white skirt and medium white pumps. Nancy wore jeans, tennis shoes and a sweatshirt. Still, most male eyes lingered on her. Julie smiled and chuckled to herself. "So, how many men will adore you today?" she asked. "Oh, stop it." said Nancy. "You're as bad as they are." Both women laughed. "You know I'm right." said Julie. "You look better in jeans that I do in a dress." "So what?" said Nancy. "I wish this place had an ice rink." "Escape by skates." giggled Julie. "Yes." replied Nancy. "That's where I feel best." Just then three beings sprinted around a corner. They were anthropomorphic dogs. Two were male, and the female wore a short pink skirt. Julie rolled her eyes. One of Solar Warrior's magic experiments had backfired. The two boys saw Nancy and turned, seemingly defying physics. "Hello, nurse!" they chanted simultaneously. Nancy giggled. The female pulled out a large mallet from thin air and raised it. Nancy stopped her with a gesture. "You're so cute!" she exclaimed, kissing them both. One of the boys jumped up and down, bouncing off the walls. Hearts and cupids swam around his head. The other fell onto his back and twin yellow beams projected from his eyes. The beams converged, forming a full-color holographic image of him skating with Nancy. Hearts and cupids circled the pair. The pink one spoke, a shrill girlish voice, "Boys. Do they ever grow up?" "Not in that aspect." said Nancy. "Who are you?" "I'm the Warner sister Dot." replied the girl. "The one bouncing off the walls in Yakko, the motormouth. The one with the holoprojector eyes is Wakko, the bottomless pit. They're my brothers, the Warners." Julie was laughing uncontrollably. Solar Warrior had really done it this time. What next, the Warner movie lot security guard? Just then a man in a Warner security uniform scurried up. He saw the Warner trio and shouted, "There you are! Back to the tower!" "Please don't." said Nancy, flashing her famous smile. "I don't mind them." She put the feminine charm on full and continued. "Besides, they have great potential as skaters." "Please." said Dot, with maximum cute. "We'll do just what she wants. Isn't she beautiful?" The Warner guard wilted under their combined attack and left. Next Solar Warrior arrived. "Are you guys OK?" he asked, seeing the Warners with Julie and Nancy. "Hey, want happened?" asked Yakko. "Yeah, we were bopping a bad guy with anvils and now we're here." stated Wakko. "Actually I was in the early stages of an elaborate scheme to-" said Solar Warrior. "Take over the world?" injected Yakko. "Hush!" chirped Dot. "That's Pinky's line." "-access alternate universes." finished Solar Warrior. "I succeeded in opening a portal from the Warner universe to ours." "Yakko, I don't think we're in Anvilania anymore." piped Wakko. "That spell almost turned me polka-dot." said Solar Warrior. "Again?" whined Dot. "Oh, all right." Dot's brothers produced instruments and played a short polka while Dot danced. "I forgot." said Solar Warrior. "Sorry, Dot." Dot bowed. Solar Warrior quickly turned. Two creatures appeared. They were biped beings with ceratopsian dinosaur heads. Sponge-bops. Nancy reached for her needler and so did Julie. The Warners clustered around Nancy. "Steady." said Solar Warrior. "This is neutral territory." "I know." said Nancy. "I remember Lansing and Plush-cutus." "We're safe." said Julie. "At least from B'harne. His people will behave themselves, as he doesn't want this area allying with the Jihad." "B'harne?" said Yakko. "Baloney!" exclaimed Wakko. The Warners raced to the sponge-bops and danced around them, singing- "I munch you, You munch me. Let's all go and get Bal-lo-ney! Put mus-tard on the bread, Bite down hard, 'cause it's red, Bal-lo-ney will rot your head." Solar Warrior, Nancy and Julie collapsed into laughter. So did most of the crowd. The Warners came back to Nancy. "What now?" asked Julie. "Keep on doing what you were." said Solar Warrior. "Sounds good to me." replied Nancy. Solar Warrior left the group and headed for a bookstore. Nancy and Julie walked on, pausing to look in windows. Then Nancy looked up and saw a sign. "I'm lucky." she said. "An ice rink." "I knew it." said Julie with a smile. "What did you expect?" said Nancy, giggling. "Besides, I'll teach you. And if you don't want to skate, that's fine." "Ok." she said. They looked inside a window that allowed mall walkers to see the rink. It was huge and Nancy licked her lips. She frowned when saw several sponge-minions and sponge-bops skating. "Interesting." said Julie. "I have a plan." said Nancy. Washington Capers # 2 "Are you serious?" said Julie. "Do you think rink management will refuse?" countered Nancy. "No." replied Julie. "Nancy, what happened to the shy little skater from Massachusetts? You've suddenly become almost reckless." "She got brave and isn't quite used to it." she replied. "After winning an Olympic silver medal, battling Plush-cutus, and fighting a sleeper agent in Michigan, fear goes away." "Ok." said Julie. "What next?" Nancy pulled a notepad from a belt pack and scribbled down brand names and measurements. She handed to Julie and said, "Get me two black leotards and two black T-shirts. My measurements are written down here. I'll go have a custom music chip made. Call me if you need more info." "How?" asked Julie. "Our com badges." replied Nancy. "I almost forgot." said Julie, chuckling. Julie went off. Nancy concentrated on her com badge. Solar Warrior's com badge tinkled. "Solar, please bring my skates." "Roger." he replied. Nancy gave the Warners money and told them to skate. The three left. Nancy then walked to a music store and told the clerk what music she wanted. Five minutes later she left, chip in hand. A few minutes later Solar Warrior came with her skates. "Don't leave home without them?" he asked. "Of course." she answered. "Just like American Express." "How speedy." remarked Solar Warrior. Nancy giggled. Julie then appeared, carrying the leotards and shirts. Nancy instructed Solar Warrior to go and skate. Then she went into the ladies room and changed to leotard and T-shirt. While there, Julie put Nancy's hair into a ponytail. They both paid at the door and headed straight to the manager's office. He immediately agreed to Nancy's ideas, thinking of the gate reciepts. Nancy hit the ice, skating slowly until she got the feel. Then she did a few toe loops and a double Lutz. She heard "Hello nurse!" followed by a feminine "Boys, go fig.". She turned and saw the Warners. "Fancy meeting you here." she said. "It's plain to see what happened." piped Dot. "Watch this!" said Wakko and Yakko. Wakko did a double axel. Yakko did a double toe loop. "Good." replied Nancy. "Watch the landing on your axel, Wakko. You're over-rotating. A bit more push with the toe pick, Yakko." "Ok!" chimed the Warner brothers. "Find yourselves partners." said Nancy. "Couple skating comes soon." The Warners sped off. Nancy scanned the crowd for good male skaters. Her eyes lit on a real hunk, a blond man of twenty. She forced herself to be objective and kept looking. Finally she found a plain-looking boy a few years younger than herself, a redhead. He was the best skater. She thought into her com badge. Julie's badge tinkled. "Start the couple skate. Bolero first." Julie acknowledged. The speakers announced a couples-only skate, and who was on the ice. The crowd surged forward. "You." said Nancy, pointing to the redheaded man. "Skate with me." John looked at Nancy and almost fainted. It was HER, the Lillehammer Lady. She flashed him a short smile. John felt lightheaded and his limbs tingled. His vision narrowed, focussing on Nancy. The rest of the world became fuzzy and distant. He skated toward her, narrowly missing several others. Nancy probed John's mind, finding a gentle soul. She pushed gently, encouraging him to be honest. "Am I dreaming?" he asked. "No." replied Nancy. "You're really skating with me." "Yes." he replied, recovering his composure slightly. "You're so lovely. Even more beautiful than I thought." "Thank you!" said Nancy. "Don't worry, I know you mean it. You can tell after awhile." She looked into his eyes and gave him the full Nancy smile. John's world again grew fuzzy. Her eyes were infinite oceans of fine sapphire, her face perfect. The first strains of Bolero came from the speakers, jolting John from his reverie. "Follow me." she said. John followed her, his mental fog slowly clearing. He was amazed by her grace. To see it on video was one thing. To see it live and up close was another. Bolero ended and John looked around. Dot and a handsome blond man skated by them. "Is that-". he said. "Yes, it's Dot Warner." replied Nancy. "And her brothers." "Is reality coming apart?" asked John. "Not quite." answered Nancy. "An experiment in alternate universe access had some--er, interesting results." "Ok." replied John. They skated for three more songs. Nancy felt her com badge touching her mind and tuned in. -They're ready.- came Julie's voice. -One more song, then start.- thought Nancy. -First the 'Sabre Dance', then 'Born to be Wild', finish with 'Comedian's Gallop'.- -Roger.- came Julie's voice. -They've roped off an area for me, Solar Warrior and the Warners.- -They didn't have too!- sent Nancy. -Thank them, please. And let the man I'm skating with sit with us. He's a sweetie.- -Ok- came the reply. "I'm doing an exhibition after this song" she said to John. Then she paused. "Why did they set aside a special place? It's just a little exhibition. Not that I mind, but I can work fine without it." "I understand." replied John. "You'll see why." The music ended. John and Nancy skated to the box. "Hello nurse!" announced Yakko and Wakko. "Boys, go fig." chimed Dot. "Look who's talking." observed Yakko. "Can I help it if I'm cute?" said Dot and Nancy simultaenously. Solar Warrior and Julie laughed heartily. "Time to go." said Nancy. -Your com badge is direct-connected to the annoucer's booth.- sent Solar Warrior. His thought came directly, not through the com badge. -Roger.- returned Nancy. Direct telepathy with people was still spooky. Washington Capers# 3 -Please wait while we set the lights.-came a voice over the com badge. -Roger.- sent Nancy, her com badge translating her thoughts to words. She crouched into a skater's version of a sprinter stance. The overhead lights dimmed. The ice lit up in a mass of swirling colors, the light coming from embedded sources. -That's neat.- she sent. -Thank you.- came the reply. -Ready when you are.- -Now.- she sent. Strains of the 'Sabre Dance' exploded from the speakers. Nancy shot out onto the ice like a arrow. About midway down she vaulted into a double axel. The crowd went wild. She spun around before going into the turn, facing backwards. Coming out of the turn, she launched into a triple jump, following with a double jump. The music went into the final portion. Nancy finished with a spiral and a graceful bow. -We'd like to synch some holo images with you.- came the voice. -Good idea!- she returned cheerfully. -Go ahead, it'll be neat.- Nancy rose from her bow and slowly rotated with hands above head. We're locked on.- came the voice. -Ready when you are.- -Engage.- she sent. Two motorcycles from the movie Easy Rider appeared beside her She smiled, noting their high quality. She skated 'Born to be Wild' and paused. Two skating jesters appeared beside her and 'Comedian's Gallop' started from the speakers. She finished with a layback spin and a bow. Then she skated over to the spot. Solar Warrior and the Warners greeted her. "Remember the guy you skated with?" "Yes." she replied. "He's nice." "He's also the son of the Washington prime minister." said Solar Warrior. Nancy gasped and red spots started forming on her face. "I'm turning polka-dot." she stammered. "Again?" piped Dot. "Oh, all right." Her brothers produced instruments and played polka while Dot danced. Julie came to the group and spoke. "The prime minister says that allegiance to the Jihad will be decided by a skating contest." Nancy's jaw dropped. "Is this a nightmare?" she exclaimed. "No, it's Mystery Science Theater 3000." replied Wakko. "I hope not." replied Solar Warrior. "Or we're all SOL." All groaned. Nancy met the prime minister and charmed him mightily. After their meeting, she went back to the rink and ran through nine successive triple jumps. Her head thus cleared, she went to meet with Julie and Solar Warrior. "Any ideas?" asked Julie. "How about this?" suggested Nancy. "First I skate. Then a 'raptor skates. Then the 'raptor and I pairs skate." While the judges decide, the Warners keep the crowd entertained." "Sounds good to me." replied Solar Warrior. "Which velociraptor?" "Jocelyn." answered Nancy. "What music?" "Beauty and the Beast." replied Solar Warrior. "Jocelyn is the beast, you're Belle." Nancy smiled at the sidewise compliment. Solar Warrior had a way of making ladies feel good. "It's fine with me." said Julie. "Ok." replied Solar Warrior. "I'll make arrangements for the 'raptors." He walked out. "Julie, I don't understand him." said Nancy. "How so?" she asked. "He's so nice." said Nancy. "He treats me and all the other women he runs into so well. But he's never mentioned a wife or lover." "He's never had any." answered Julie. "Never?" said Nancy. "Why?" "Back when he was an apprentice, there was an accident during psionic training. He lost the mentality for romance. Sol Prime tried to repair it, but couldn't." answered Julie. "The poor man!" said Nancy. "But something good did come out of it." said Julie. "Strong magical and psionic power." "But look at the price." replied Nancy. "What was the price for your skating skill?" asked Julie. "I see." she replied. "I see." * * * * In a dark basement, the Icemen of Gaia met. Upon a wall, a picture of Nancy hung, with darts embedded. "People of Gaia!" boomed the voice of the leader. "The demon has come. The defiler of father Ice, the exploiter of helpless glaciers, the queen of global warming!" Each member took out a Nancy doll and stuck another pin in it. "Father Ice protects us insignificant people from the sea. If this, this, this, . . .slime is allowed to exist, the ocean will overflow in wrath! The dolphins will hate us, and the orcas will consume the continents! The sun will burn us with ultraviolet for our sins!" Washington Capers # 4 The next morning, a VTOL carrying the four 'raptors landed in a vacant lot next to the shopping center. Workers in Solar Ishtari grab set up an enclosure. In a meeting room inside the enclosure, Solar Warrior, Julie, Nancy and an anthropomorphic squirrel conferred. "I've been at this a long time." said the squirrel in a Mae West style voice. "We can do it." "How?" asked Solar Warrior. "We use Nancy first." said the squirrel . "A showgirl outfit." "Not a good idea, Slappy." replied Nancy. "This is show biz, kid." responded Slappy. "Modesty don't sell." "You forgot about the Katarina rule." said Nancy. "The United States Figure Skating Association rule says modest costumes. I'm glad. Besides, we're playing by their rules." "Ok." said Slappy. "Nancy is the all-American girl. Flowered dresses, white shoes, plenty of pictures with kids. Donate the dough to charity." "How about the 'raptors?" asked Julie. "A problem." said Slappy. "Can't pitch 'em as gentle. They're fast, quick, and tough." "Which makes them perfect security guards." replied Nancy. "Nice goin', kid." said Slappy. "School patrol, playground guards, science classes." "I can do a magic show." volunteered Solar Warrior. "And set up some neat virtual reality games." "Make 'em free for the kids." said Slappy. "Adults pay up." "Bouinsey, bouinsey, bouinsey." came the Warner's voices. "Slappy, please come." piped Dot. "Enough with the singin', already." said Slappy. The four went into the 'raptor pen. Jocelyn was free, but Hillary, Janet and Donna each had a Warner as a rider. "We're the Mighty Warner 'Raptor Rangers." said Yakko. "And we don't have to morph." chimed Wakko. "And we aren't cheesy." piped Dot. "I cheddar to think what would happen if you were." replied Solar Warrior. The Warners laughed. The 'raptors snorted their disgust, while Slappy, Nancy and Julie groaned. "This guy thinks he's funny." observed Slappy sarcastically. "Don't encourage him!" said Nancy. Julie leaned over and whispered to Slappy, "He was her combat and psionics instructor." "With friends like that, you don't need any enemies." remarked Slappy. "I think the Warners have solved our 'raptor PR problem." "The Brain even made us saddles." said Yakko, pointing to a mouse with a large head. "I need to get back." said the Brain to Solar Warrior. "I have things to do tonight." "What do you want to do tonight?" asked Nancy. "The same thing I do every night, Nancy." answered the Brain. "Try to take over the world." "Right." she replied. Solar Warrior set up series of VR game booths. B'harne agents set up theirs, but they could not compete against the superior quality and variety of the Jihad's. His magic show drew many, but was hard on electrical equipment. The next day he shielded the performance area. Nancy kept the her practice sessions private on the advice of Slappy. Nancy didn't care, as public practices were common for here. Jocelyn trailed Nancy. Nancy launched into a double axel. Jocelyn followed, landing on the proper skate edge. -Time for a sit spin.- she sent to the 'raptor. Nancy pushed off and spun on one foot. Jocelyn followed. Nancy sat down, extending her free leg. Jocelyn squatted down, bending her tail up. She started wobbling. -Come up-. sent Nancy. Jocelyn rose up and the wobbling ceased. She can't do a sit spin, thought Nancy. Nancy and Jocelyn came out of their spins and stood upright. -Camel.- she sent to the raptor. Nancy pushed off into the spin, extending her torso and free leg until they were horizontal and holding her arms out like airplane wings. Jocelyn followed her, using slight movements of her head and tail to balance. A velociraptor's anatomy did not allow her to extend her arms. -Come out slow.-she sent to the dinosaur. She and the 'raptor straightened up. -Practice is over.- she sent to the 'raptor. Jocelyn skated to rinkside, where a handler removed her skates and fed her. The Warners charged onto the rink, skating furiously. Each carried a truck axle. "Nancy, watch my triple axle!" shouted Wakko. Wakko launched into an upright spin, balancing the truck axle on a fingertip. Dot and Yakko tossed the other two axles upward. Soon Wakko was spinning on one foot, balancing three truck axles placed end to end on a fingertip. Then he extended a leg and slowly descended into a sitting position. The axles wobbled as Wakko lowered himself. Then the whole assemblage toppled. Nancy hit the ice, hands over head. The truck parts hit the ice and bounced. The Warners caught them. Nancy arose and spoke, "We need to work on your triple axle, Wakko." "Now that's comedy." said Slappy from rinkside. "Hi, Slappy." said Nancy. "What's up?" "Good news." she said. "The kids love ya." "The Nancy and Grimace skate?" Nancy replied. "Yes! Thank you, Slappy." "For sure." she replied. "Time for me to zip." She left. "It's over for today, guys." said Nancy. "Meet here tomorrow at the usual time." The Warners left. Nancy skated to rinkside and put on her rollerblades. Time for a break. Working with the Warners was stimulating. Since they were 'toons, they took things very literally. Furthermore, they were not subject to the laws of physics and of probability. This made for interesting situations. In any case, she was glad she hadn't told them about camel spins. They'd probably try to bring in Arabs! Washington Capers # 5 Nancy skated away from the shopping center. She got a few whistles from teenage boys in a pickup, but mind probes showed them to be simply having fun. About ten minutes later, all tensions vanished. Her attention was on her somatic sensations. Time seemed to freeze, and the only sounds were those of skate wheels on pavement. A black car whizzed by Nancy, narrowly missing her. She muttered under her breath, "Where'd you get your license, Toys R' Us?" Another black car did the same and Nancy cursed. Then she realized that both cars had the same symbol, an iceberg around the sun. Now another black car swung into view. It was the same one that had almost hit her before. She thought, triggering her com badge's distress beacon. "Death to the ice defiler!" came a harsh voice over a grille-mounted speaker. "Crush the global warmer!" Nancy was scared. Environmentalist wackos! She leapt aside and the second car swerved. It was too late to dodge. She leapt up, vaulting onto the hood and rolling until she was against the windshield. Grabbing the molding with a hand, she broke out the driver's side window with her foot. Then she kicked the driver hard in the face. The car fishtailed and she leapt off. The car swung around, lined up on her and accelerated. Then the driver and two passengers jumped out, yelling "Get her, Christine!". But the car hit a pothole and smashed into a garbage can, spilling the contents. A broomstick skittered over to her and she picked it up. The two passengers were on rollerblades! Wielding the broomstick like a quarterstaff, she charged the two with a fierce smile. Single toe loop, she thought as she closed in. Takeoff on right back outside edge, push off with left toe. Nancy spun around and pushed off. Coming around, she leaned out to balance the broomhandle. At the right time, she snapped the broomhandle into her attackers' solar plexus. He collapsed like a deflated balloon. The other rollerblader tried to dodge, but Nancy hit him with a body check, knocking him flat on his back. He lay there, Nancy holding the broomstick to his throat. "How did you clobber Tree-Hugger?" asked the man. "A single toe loop." she answered. "You have to know things like that to win Olympic medals." "You're--". stammered the man. "So you thought I was a delicate ice princess." she said, her blue eyes glittering with anger. "Wrong. I play hockey." "Oh, no." said the man. "You and your friend leave now." she said. "Before I get REALLY ANGRY!" The two left quickly. Meanwhile, back at the 'raptor enclosure, an alarm klaxon sounded. "Nancy's in trouble!" said Dot. "Of course you know, this means Warners." said Yakko. Wakko ran up and gave the three special mallets. "They're LillyHammers." he said. "Made in Norway." Solar Warrior burst in. "To the VTOL!" he shouted. Nancy saw the Iceman of Gaia cultists depart and was glad. Her relief vanished when two more Icemen of Gaia cars came tearing around the corner. She sprinted for the sidewalk. The Gaia cars followed her. People screamed and dodged. Nancy headed for the street, unwilling to endanger bystanders. The cars followed. She saw a corner and turned into it. It was a dead end, with a whole gang of wild-eyed Icemen wackos there. She gulped. The two cars skidded to a stop. "Christine is avenged!" came a voice from a grille-mounted speaker. Three pops sounded. Three velociraptors, each ridden by a mallet- wielding Warner, appeared. With blood-curdling avian screams the 'raptors charged. Nancy turned around at a fourth pop. Solar Warrior appeared, his face and body glowing red with anger. He unleashed power at the charging cars. Both disintegrated. He turned to Nancy, his appearance that of a concerned father. "Ok?" he asked. "Yes." she answered. "I teleported myself and the 'raptors in." he said. The authorities rounded up the cultists and jailed them. Interrogation was fruitless. So they called in the Warners. The Warners walked into the interview room, towing a large game show wheel behind them. A plaque above the wheel read 'Interrogation Methods'. On the wheel circular sectors were marked off, each having a message. Some messages were 'Bash with Mallet', 'Drop Anvils on Head', 'Play New Kids on the Block Music', and 'Torment with Silliness'. "Wheel of Morality," chanted the Warners. "Turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we must learn." The wheel stopped on the 'Torment with Silliness' option. "Did you expect a steely-eyed, square-jawed interrogator?" asked Yakko. "Yes." replied the prisoner. "Too bad." responded Yakko. "You got us." The prisoner groaned while the Warners laughed. "Does Gaia love the little children like Jesus does?" asked Wakko. "Of course!" replied the prisoner. The Warners danced around the prisoner singing, "Gaia loves the little 'raptors. "All the 'raptors of the world." "Red and yellow, black and white," "They are vicious and they fight," "Gaia loves the little 'raptors of the world." The prisoner turned red and screamed, "I won't talk. I won't talk." "Will you dance?" asked Wakko. "I'll never break." muttered the prisoner. "You should take more coffee breaks." said Yakko. "And switch to decaf." added Dot. "Shut up!" screamed the prisoner. Dot switched to cute mode and said to the prisoner, "Want a kiss?" "Keep away!" he screamed. "You hurt me!" she whined. "I bet if it was Nancy, you'd say yes." "No!" he shouted. "How sweet." she said in a sugared voice. "Now I'll going to kiss you." She and her brothers kissed the cultist. "Stop!" he screamed. "I'll talk! I'll talk!" Washington Capers #6 Nancy's popularity grew after the attack. Slappy emphasized that the attack was the act of wackos, and was not connected to B'harne. The B'harne PR machine could do nothing but agree and stew. Nancy never went anywhere without a security detail. The three velociraptors Janet, Hillary and Donna, guarded the rink during practice. Occasionally they escorted her. She always had room. Nancy was walking in the mall after a practice. Per Slappy's instructions, she wore a floral dress with sensible white pumps. She looked around and saw Slappy. "I need ya, hon." said the squirrel. "A merchant's bein' stubborn." "Fill me in." responded Nancy. "For sure." replied Slappy. "This guy runs a restaurant, and I'm tryin' to convince him to let us use it. Dot's usin' her cute, but this guy's a tough nut." "Wow." said Nancy. The two approached the restaurant. Dot was there, using every trick in her feminine arsenal. "Hi, I'm Nancy." she said. "How are you?" The owners' eyes grew wide. "Please let us use your restaurant" said Nancy, with a cute tilt of her head. "No." said the owner. Nancy drew a deep breath and imagined that she had just done a perfect sequence of seven triple jumps. "Your place is so wonderful." she said, flashing her best on-ice smile. "I'd love to come here." Hearts and dollar signs spun in the owners' eyes. "So would I." chimed Dot, with maximum cute. The man wilted under the combined attack of Nancy and Dot. "Sure." said the man, now wobbling. "Thank you." said Nancy and Dot simultaneously. "Let's talk business." said Slappy, leading the dazed man off. Dot and Nancy slapped palms and said, "Some girls got it, some girls don't." The next day, Nancy and the velociraptor Jocelyn practiced. Nancy skated by Jocelyn's side. -Tail axel.- she sent to the 'raptor. She dropped back. Then Jocelyn swept her tail around, gently catching Nancy in the small of the back. At the right time, the dinosaur lowered her head and stretched out her neck. Nancy jumped over the 'raptor's neck and spun around one and half times to a perfect landing. The 'raptor went to the now backwards skating Nancy and resumed a standard pairs skating stance. -Perfect, Jocelyn.- she sent. -Go home.- Jocelyn left for her stall. Nancy went rinkside and took off her skates. After she had put on shoes, she saw Slappy and John. "John has something to say." said Slappy. "Can we-." he said hesitantly. "go to dinner?" "Yes!" she replied with a smile. "I'll be there soon." Nancy met John outside the rink. Two velociraptors followed her as security guards. "I see Slappy put you up to something." she said. "Right." said John. "I'm really shy." "That's fine." said Nancy. "You have a lot that makes up for it." John smiled. "You're a jewel." he said. "That's sweet." said Nancy. "Slappy's been coaching you." "Yes." he replied. "I wanted to say something nice, but couldn't think of a compliment. So I asked her." "Thank you." she said. "That's very considerate. And for that, you can hold my hand." She extended it forward. "Thank you." he said. Nancy and John had a wonderful date, as the two 'raptors insured privacy. Coming back from it, she encountered Slappy again. "You're a matchmaker." she said. "You needed a break, hon." said Slappy. "John's a great guy. A bit shy, fer sure." "Yes, but he's so sweet." replied Nancy. "I can pick 'em." remarked Slappy. "Slappy, can I keep the clothes?" asked Nancy. "You have a great eye for floral designs." "Sure, kid." replied the squirrel. "Why not? And call me if you need an agent. With your looks, I could get you star billing." "Yes." replied Nancy. * * * * The crowd went wild as Nancy and Jocelyn took their bows. Then the Warners came out. The crowd's cheering turned to wild laughter as the Wakko did his triple axle. The announcer's voice echoed throughout the stadium. The scoreboard shifted as he announced the rankings. They were far ahead of the B'harne team. Washington was now a Jihad ally. The crowd went wild. Nancy jumped up and embraced John. Solar Warrior hugged Julie. Nancy hugged Solar Warrior and Julie hugged John. Later they met backstage with the Warners and Slappy. Solar Warrior spoke, "I can't close the rift between the Animanics universe and ours. But it's not going to cause any real trouble. And in the long run, I think it will be good. At least the portal is stable." "Hooray!" yelled the Warners. "That's fun." "Can I visit?" asked Nancy. "Of course!" said Yakko. "Good." she answered. "I need a vacation." "Hello, nurse!" said the Warner brothers. The End