[CHRONOLOGICAL NOTE: The events in this story occur at the same time as the
events in "StryfeFall."]

			        seaQuest DSV
		       Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean

	Ensign Loni Henderson eased into a ventilation shaft and closed her
eyes. It had been almost two weeks since Commander Crierie had lost it, taking
on the name "Stryfe" and bringing most, if not all, of the crew under his
influence. Stryfe used this influence to take command of the ship, and held it
in reserve while he left to build his "Barney Liberation Front." The fat chubby
extra crew-members that Stryfe had brought onboard to replace him took away
from any chances of retaking the ship. She already knew that Lucas had been 
thrown into the brig on general principle. The reason that she was able to 
hide out for so long on a sub was from regular food supplies from Dagwood, 
which had stopped yesterday when Dr. Smith had found out, tossing Dagwood in
the brig as well. She knew about this "Jihad" that Stryfe was fighting, for she
had been contacted by somebody from the "TRES Corps" while on a shore leave.
That was before Stryfe had come into being, and cancelled any shore leaves.
They weren't as bad as Stryfe had made them out to be, and gave her a
"teleportation beacon" for her to attach to the ship in case of any trouble.
She had slipped it into a systemry panel in Engineering when Lucas was
detained. Hearing footsteps echo across the hallway, she scuttled further into
the shaft. If only she could hide out until her friends arrived...

# Dio "Holy Diver" _Holy Diver_

			Psycho-ScrewHose Publishing
				presents a
		     Rock and a Hard Place Production
				    of
	     A Tale of the Jihad to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur

			        STRYFEQUEST
			         by J-Rock


	Admiral Mad Piper stood on a transporter pad with his half of TRES's
Kappa Squad. TRES Corps had pulled a major intelligence coup with Henderson's
"accquisition," and the loss of contact with her over the last week led to 
Piper calling for a meeting with Grand Admiral Owsen and his fellow Admirals,
JFoxglov and J-Rock. That meeting had led to this "fact-finding mission." Since
this was considered a strike on a self-contained enemy base with a surrounding 
hostile environment, J-Rock had gifted his second with five suits of TAMUBGD
"Terminator" Tactical Dreadnought Armor. Piper was determined to show his CO
that his trust in him was well-placed. He gave the order for his squad to seal
their helmets. In fifteen seconds, they'd be going in.
	Piper took one final look at his forces in that time. Gypsy Joker was
wielding a destructive-looking warhammer and bearing a shield shaped like an
Iron Cross. A big horkin' minigun-type weapon formed most of Ian Chapin's right
arm, with his left having an oversized gauntlet on it. Ensign Aruba, new to
Kappa Squad, had only a double-barrelled gyroslug SMG not unlike the one Piper 
carried, and a chainsaw-like device covering his lower left arm. Although he 
wasn't a member of Kappa Squad, Neon Wizard had volunteered. His suit carried
the gyroslug SMG as well, and he had opted to use a normal left hand gauntlet
in order to wield his Hellblade.
	A fitting force to carry out a takeover of a super-submarine.
	The transporter pad energized as everything turned blue...

****************************************************************************

	The squad materialized in Engineering, only to find themselves the only
humans in a crowd of Loved Ones. Barking out attack orders, MP used his sword
to hack into a nearby Loved One while he aimed his SMG and blew away another.

# Cypress Hill "A To The K" _Black Sunday_

	The B'Harne-spawn responded in character; most pulled laser pistols and
fired at the Terminators, while a couple tried to summon assistance.
Unfortunately, the battle was lost by the Loved Ones before it had even begun:
Kappa Squad had the element of suprise, and those that managed to open fire saw
their shots stopped by the massively thick (for personal armor, anyway)
Terminator suits before disappearing in the hail of gyroslugs. The two runners 
didn't fare much better. Neon mumbled a few words, immolating one runner while
the other literally ran into Joker. Before it could even wet its pants, he
brought his hammer down. The Loved One's head came apart in a... well,
hammersmash of cartilage, brain tissue (what little there was), and orange
blood. At length, the fire ceased. Engineering, and a beach-head into the
seaQuest, was theirs. And it had taken only two minutes.

****************************************************************************

	"Sir! Computer reports armed intruders in Engineering!" Lt. James
Brody's voice rang out across the bridge. 
	"Very well, take Ortiz and a security detail and stop them before they
reach the bridge," Captain Bridger said.
	"Yes sir," Brody said, leaving his tacoff station and leaving the
bridge. Bridger stood a while in thought. He really had to hand it to Commander
Crie-- nonono, he was Stryfe now, leading the seaQuest and his Barney
Liberation Front on a just cause: To crush the Jihad Against Barney and spread
Barney's message of love and super-dee-uper fun to the whole wide world.
Bridger smiled as he fondly recalled the day he had found Barney. Yes, Stryfe
would see them through. And Bridger was proud to call himself a member of the
Front.

****************************************************************************

	Gunfire, Loni observed silently. It could only mean one thing: the TRES
Corps had come!  She had wanted to run out and greet them, but she wasn't too
sure what they looked like. Besides, her training had taught her to stay put in
just such a situation. She was so engrossed in listening for the gunfire that 
she didn't notice the Loved Ones opening the shaft until a light shone in her
face. A female voice then called out, "The game's up, Ensign. Out of the
shaft." 
	Loni had wanted to bolt, but the two laser rifles pointed at her 
dispelled any thoughts of escape. She crawled out, and a Loved One seized her
from behind while the other kept its rifle on her. She looked into the face of
her captor. Dr. Wendy Smith regarded her with undisguised contempt. "You
thought that your knowledge of the ship could keep you safe. You couldn't hide
forever, especially from a telepath like me. Let's see how you like the brig."
Go ahead and gloat, Doctor, Loni thought. Because they are coming to rescue me,
and we'll put a stop to Stryfe's plans for this ship. Dr. Smith turned and
looked at Loni. "That's what I'm counting on. Now MOVE ALONG!"

****************************************************************************

	Brody led his squad down the corridor. The intruders had passed the
berths, on a course straight for the bridge. He had just turned the corner when
he saw the intruders dead ahead, about 75 yards away. His heart shifted into
overdrive as he brought his rifle to bear on them, his squad aping his actions.
"Stop where you are!" he shouted.
	One of the sword-bearing intruders replied in an amplified voice, "This 
is Admiral Mad Piper of the TRES Corps! We wish to speak with your captain
about Stryfe!"
	Brody thought, ADMIRAL Mad Piper? Since when do admirals lead small
unit boarding actions? Even if this was genuine, it was a rather odd way to 
request an audience. "Throw down your weapons and no harm will come to you!" 
he shouted back.
	"I'm afraid that's not possible," Mad Piper replied. "We need to see
your captain NOW." 
	"If you don't throw down your weapons, we will be forced to open fire!"
	"We do not wish to take human life, but we will defend ourselves if 
attacked."
	This was getting pointless, Brody thought. "Open fire!"
	Laser bolts flew as the carnage resumed.

# Cypress Hill "Break 'Em Off Some" _Black Sunday_

	The fire poured down on Kappa Squad. "Neon! Get us out of this!" 
Piper called out as a gyroslug blew a leg off a redshirt. Neon stepped
forward towards the throng as the fire directed at him began to intensify.
About twelve bolts got stopped by the armor before the brown-haired man who did
the talking some time ago whispered reverently, "No fucking way." Neon turned
to face him, aborting the spell he had wanted to cast in favor of a new one. He
pointed the Hellblade at the leader and said:
	"Sometimes, life is unbearably tragic."
	The black wormhole that opened up did not go unnoticed, however. A
Hispanic redshirt, the squad's second from the look of him, launched himself at
the leader, crying "Look out, Lieutenant!" before being buried by the "special
delivery" that accompanied those words. Two hundred of every Calvin & Hobbes
book ever released cascaded down on Ortiz, as he knocked Brody out from under
the wormhole. He also knocked Brody out literally, as the latter hit his head
against the bulkhead on the way down. Ortiz's outstreched arms, somehow not
covered by the books, spasmed once and went limp.
	The loss of their commanders didn't faze the redshirts, as they now had
cover which they could use to their advantage. What they didn't see was Gypsy
Joker coming down on their left flank. The few that noticed him immediately
opened up, but Joker raised his shield and watched the bolts dissipate
harmlessly against it. Thumbing his hammer to the "STUN" setting, Joker waded
in and knocked out the redshirts with systematic resolve.
	As Kappa Squad disarmed and tied up the remnants of the security
detail, a thought entered Mad Piper's mind. If this was the seaQuest, then
where were Dagwood and Lucas?  MP pushed it aside by an act of will. Not until
the bridge -- and the sub -- are taken.

****************************************************************************

A SHORT TIME LATER

	Kappa Squad had stormed through the seaQuest using all available speed
and force. All they needed to do to reach the bridge was to climb one more
ladder and to travel the comparatively short distance to the bridge proper. As
such, they ran into Dr. Smith's party before they even knew it was there.

	Neon felt a strange disturbance, like someone was trying to force his
way into his mind. Neon instinctively threw up a mental block as Aruba's
gyroslugs blew away the two Loved Ones escorting a young female, who ran for a
short distance before being grabbed by another, slightly older woman who had a
sickly lavender aura playing itself around her. Neon thought to himself, A 
Sleeper! Never mind who, HOW?
	The Sleeper pulled a small pistol and held it to the younger woman's
head as explosive shouts from the other members of Kappa Squad expressed their
dismay at being unable to move their limbs. She then spoke into a communicator,
"Smith to bridge. I've got Henderson and the intruders right here." A voice
responded with, "Outstanding work, Doctor. Bring them to the bridge
immediately."
	"Let her go," Mad Piper called out. Smith only cackled with insane glee
and said, "If you think I'm gonna do that, Jihaddi, then you are sorely
mistaken. My masters will reward me richly for ridding the universe of a
traitor, a TRES Admiral, and his retinue."
	MP noticed Neon slowly and surreptitously advancing toward the Sleeper,
eldritch fire playing around the Hellblade. Keep her talking, Piper thought. 
"So long, Admiral," Smith said, levelling the pistol at his head. "It's been a
displeasure."

# The Mighty Mighty Bosstones "Think Again" _Ska-Core, The Devil, And More_

	Just then, Henderson brought her elbow into Smith's midsection,
stunning her just enough for Loni to whirl out of her grasp. Piper yelled,
"NOW, NEON!" as Smith began to summon her power for a particle blast. Neon
covered the few feet remaining with suprising speed (for Terminator armor),
raising the Hellblade high. He then brought it down, slicing through Smith. A
fiery line marked the Sleeper's longitudal axis for a brief second. She then
fell apart into two distinct halves which burned with unquenchable ferocity,
reducing themselves to ash in a matter of minutes.
	Freed from the hold the Sleeper had on them, the rest of the squad
moved to congratulate Neon. Neon only responded in his best Harvey Keitel,
"Now, now, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet." This elicited
an "AHEM" from Henderson.
	Neon, embarrassed by his little faux pas, replied "No offense."
	"None taken. You're from the TRES Corps, aren't you? I have been 
waiting FOREVER for you guys!"
	"Who are you?" Ian Chapin asked.
	"It's a long story. Got a minute?"

****************************************************************************

THREE MINUTES AND FORTY-SEVEN SECONDS LATER

	Aruba queried, "So Dagwood and Lucas are in the brig, and most of the 
human crew is spongified?"
	Loni nodded. "As far as I know."
	Mad Piper interjected, "One thing we've forgotten: They know we're
here, and by now, I wouldn't be suprised if Stryfe knew we were here."
	"I doubt that Stryfe knows you guys are here," Loni replied. "I 
disabled the ship's transmitter before I went into hiding."
	"Meaning?" Joker asked.
	"They can receive messages, but they can't send them."
	"Outstanding, Loni," Piper said. "Ok, troops, we're splitting up. Neon,
Aruba, Ian: Go to the brig and spring Lucas. If they know we're coming, and
they lock out the controls, he may be our only hope of getting the systems 
back online. Loni, Joker, you're with me. We still have a ship to recapture."

****************************************************************************

	Bridger stood pensively at his post. "What could be taking Dr. Smith 
so long? And where the hell is Brody?" he asked. Commander Ford was about to 
voice his lack of knowledge when the bridge doors opened, revealing Henderson 
and two armored troopers. The trooper with the powered warhammer bellowed,
"CHANGE OF WATCH, LADIES AND GERMS!"
	The other trooper moved forward. "Who's in charge?" he asked. Bridger
stepped forward. "Captain Nathan Bridger, UE--OHHHH!!!!!!" he said as Joker
struck him with the hammer. Sparks played around his body as he hit the floor.
Piper surveyed the scene and asked, "NOW who's in charge?"
	"Commander Jonathan For-- URK!!" said Ford as he, too, was stunned by
Joker's hammer. Piper looked around the room again. "One last time: Who's in
charge?"
	Piccolo stammered from his helm position, "Y-y-you are."
	MP replied, "Thought so. Now listen up. I want all of you to head to
the mess. If you cooperate, you will not be harmed."
	Joker then started to move the crew toward the galley as Piper used the
suits' intercom to tell Neon Wizard to bring the redshirts over there. "Get
away from that console!" Joker shouted as O'Neill lingered at his station.
O'Neill managed to touch a button as Joker felled him with the hammer. Loni
raced toward the console, but it was too late. "Shit!" she said. "He's locked
us out!"
	Piper was livid. "Let this be a learning experience: if you resist, we
will kill you, so move toward the galley in a quiet and orderly fashion!" 
	The crew filed out in a much more subdued fashion.
	"I only stunned them," Joker said over the squad's com channel.
        "But THEY don't know that," was Piper's reply. "Besides, I've been
wanting to quote Tommy Lee Jones in 'Under Siege' ever since this mission was
laid out."
	"Oh."
	"Admiral!" Ian's voice came over the net. "We found Lucas and Dagwood
chained up in the brig, just like Loni said. Apparently the BLF was trying to
spongify them with B'Harne songs, but Lucas disconnected the speaker leading 
into the cell."
	"Good. Bring Lucas up here. He has some security to defeat."
	"Roger that. Chapin out."
	MP turned to Joker and said, "Now that we have all these spongified
people on our hands, how do we go about despongifying them?"
	"Sir, I played a hunch and went to Lucas's quarters during our advance.
I hope he's not as square as Weasely Crusher." Having said that, Joker popped
the tape he had appropriated from Lucas's desk into the tape player and pressed
PLAY...

# AC/DC "Rock 'n Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" _Back in Black_

	Piper nodded. "I like the sound of that.. Loni, can you pipe this
through the PA system?"
	"Sure."
	"Make it so."

****************************************************************************

ABOUT TEN MINUTES LATER

	The crash despongification program that Kappa Squad had instituted for
the crew was making good progress. Several of the crew had completely 
desponged, and the rest would finish once a certified Despongification Team
got on board. Loni had finished undoing her "modifications" to the seaQuest's
transmitter, and Mad Piper was radioing TRES Corps Command to request such a
team once the seaQuest surfaced.
	"Admiral, we have a no-go on the Despongifcation Team," came Guru of
the South's voice over the radio. "JihadHigh-One has detected the BS New 
Jersey in your area. Suggest you stay under until the fighter strike gets
there."
	Lucas shouted from a bridge terminal, "Piper! You better come have a 
look at this..."

# Alan Silvestri "We Created You" _"Judge Dredd" soundtrack_

	"Have you unlocked the ship's controls?"
	"No, but I found something that should interest you." On the screen
were the words:

			    THE STRYFE PROJECT

	"Is that what I think it is?" MP asked.
	"Keep reading," Lucas said.

    The numerous defeats handed us by the Jihad have forced us to analyse
    their tactics and officers' personalities. An analysis of such indicates
    an overwhelming tendency to focus on sufficiently annoying people who
    pose problems, usually to the exclusion of all else. In late 1994, Lord
    Barney approved a plan to clone the perfect annoyance, thus turning
    Jihaddi attention away from his plans to bring Luv to the world.

	"I always knew that Stryfe was annoying, but not that he was
genetically engineered to be just that," MP observed.
	"This goes on.."

    The cloning process called for DNA samples from Jihaddi (to make him
    have knowledge of what annoys Jihaddi) and one of our servants, in
    order to insure that we could control the clone. In the end, the
    tendency for megalomania in the Jihad during this period had a great
    deal of influence in the selection of "parents," for lack of a better
    term. It was decided to use DNA from Glen Patrick Ryan and the current
    Praetor of the Jihad, Serp the Feral. The latter's DNA was obtained
    from blood spilled at a battle in the United Kingdom.

    The name of this project came from the name the first clone took for
    himself upon maturation. But, before that time came, the cross-breeding
    produced numerous failed specimens. Personality traits included a high
    pitched voice, extreme megalomania, an incredible lack of creative 
    imagination, and a preference for the use of excessive force beyond 
    the limits of military convention and realism in general. Lord Barney
    pronounced this work "a stuuuuuuppppendous success," and ordered 
    production of backup clones to begin at once. However, before Stryfe 
    could be unleashed on the Jihad, a Jihaddi air raid destroyed the 
    facility, including the first clone, the scientists, and the samples
    of DNA from the original "parents." The project was never restarted 
    again.

	"I don't get it," Piper said. "First, it says that Stryfe's a clone,
then it turns around and says that they all were destroyed. What gives?"
	Lucas responded, "That's what I was thinking, until I saw this:"

    UPDATE: (Dated September 1, 1995)

    One clone (an infant) did survive the attack in stasis, and was found 
    in 2002 by a construction crew, who later put it into the adoption 
    system. The babe was adopted by a Mrs. Roberta Crierie, who gave it 
    the name Ryan. Ryan later went on to become a commander in the UEO, 
    and was aboard the seaQuest DSV when a time-travel experiment brought 
    it to 1995. Upon hearing of the Jihad, ancestral memories awakened in
    him, causing him to lead the seaQuest to the Project's facilities.
    Clone production began in earnest much sooner thanks to this. At the
    time of this writing, there are currently four clones that have reached
    maturation, with more to follow.

	Mad Piper could only utter a reverent "Fuuuuuccccckkk mmmeeeee..."
	Loni then noticed the incoming-comm light blinking. She said, "Admiral,
we have flash-traffic coming in."
	"On viewer."
	The viewer snapped to life, showing the face of Lord Tilden Owsen.
"Are you making any progress, Admiral?" he asked.
	"Field despongification is proceeding apace, but we still need that
team!"
	"I'm already ahead of you. The team is ten minutes behind the fighter
strike. If it's possible, assist the fighters."
	"Yes, sir."
	"One last thing: J-Rock has just killed Stryfe. The New Jersey should
be demoralized, making our jobs a little easier."
	"There is something you should know, sir," MP said. Turning to Lucas,
he asked, "Can you e-mail that project report to him?"
	"Doing it now, Piper."
	Piper turned to face the viewer again. "Read this incoming e-mail, sir.
It may change your whole perspective of Stryfe. It did for me."
	Owsen looked at a smaller viewer for a few minutes. When he next spoke
again, it was a strained "Mein Gott!"  The Grand Admiral of the TRES Corps
regained his composure and said, "I'll relay this to J-Rock right away. Owsen
out." The viewer reverted to the grey color of a TV screen tuned to dead air.
Piper regarded Loni and said, "Can you get into the weapons systems?"
	"Yes, but we need Stryfe's fire code to shoot."
	"Then we'll have to guess. Neon!"
	"Yes, Admiral?" came Neon's voice over the comlink.
	"Get all the despongified bridge crew members to the bridge. We're
going battlewagon hunting."
	"Piper, there's one last thing you need to know," Loni said. "When I
was hiding out, I saw a whole bunch of stasis tubes being brought on board. If
I remember correctly, they were being stored two levels below sickbay."
	"Smegging hell... Chapin! Aruba! Take Brody and some of his detail and
go check out the area she's gonna be talking about." He then let Loni repeat
her directions. "Neon, Joker's gonna be relieving you of your baby-sitting. I
need you on the bridge. Piper out."

****************************************************************************

	"Conn, sonar. New contact: Bearing zero-three-five, range 9000 meters, 
speed 20 knots," O'Neill said from his position at sonar. "Positive ID: It's
the New Jersey."
	Ford nodded. He still had a splitting headache from the hammer, but
that was the least of his worries now. Those fat-dinosaur-fuckers had taken his
ship under their spell, and now they were going to pay. Captain Bridger still
showed some signs of spongification, and Piper thought it prudent to have Ford
on the bridge as a way of integrating commands. "Ready Harpoon missiles on Able
One through Able Four, and plasma torpedoes on Able Five and Able Six."
	Loni said from the tacoff station, "I have Able One through Able Six
ready, sir."
	Mad Piper sat at a side table with Neon, content to let Ford set up 
the attack while he tried to figure out what Stryfe's fire code would be. It 
was pretty hard work, and the addition of an extra head didn't make things
easier. They had already exhausted all the possibilities involving anything
remotely insulting another Jihaddi, and the Jihad in general. And they didn't
have too much time...

# Roger Waters "The Bravery Of Being Out Of Range" _Amused to Death_

	TRES Lieutenant Mad Max led his two-Visigoth flight low over the ocean 
towards the BS New Jersey. For this occasion, each Visigoth carried two Exocet
anti-ship missiles. "Ok, Ensign Frey, release missiles on my mark, then go
trans-orbital and head for Orbital Station Beta." The battlewagon was but a
speck in the distance at this point, but they were closing fast. Max centered
the pipper on that speck, keeping the craft as level as possible...

	Brody led his detail into the holding area through the hole Aruba cut
with his chainfist. Around them were tens of stasis tubes, the contents of
which remained obscure in the relative darkness of the compartment. Brody crept
cautiously into the center of the room to get a better look. All of a sudden,
the tanks opened, revealing their cargo. Humanoid in appearance, they shambled
towards the party. Some were Cthulhuoid, others had misshapen faces, some had
extra limbs (or maybe a tail), and at least one was a "super-deformed" version
of Stryfe!  Brody excitedly asked Aruba, "What do you think those might be?"
	Suddenly, one of the SD clones grabbed a redshirt and bit his head off!
Aruba answered, "The 'failed specimens'?" as he and Brody fell back, firing
into the massed of rejected Stryfe-clones.
	"Shut up! Just shut up!" was Brody's only reply as the second wave
filled in the holes in the line.

****************************************************************************

	"I have a firing solution on the New Jersey," Loni said. "I need the
fire code now!"
	"Wait!" said Neon. "Computer. Fire code is Mike Uniform November
Charlie Hotel Kilo India November!"
	"Accessing," said the girl-synth of the computer. The air pressure fell
slightly from all the held breaths of the bridge crew. 
	"Fire code recognized, Stryfe."
	The bridge crew breathed a sigh of relief.
	Ford said, "Mr. Henderson, send New Jersey to Hell."
	Loni fired.

	"Captain!" said the tacoff aboard the New Jersey. "We've just detected
a submarine missile launch! Missiles off the starboard bow, 6000 meters and
closing fast!"
	"Damn!" replied the captain. "Engage CIWS now! Battle stations!"

****************************************************************************

	Mad Max saw the launch of the Harpoons. "Mark, Ensign!" he said as he
fired his Exocets, pulling up and clawing for orbital space. Frey fired his
missiles and followed suit.

	"Captain!" shouted the radar officer. We just detected another missile
launch and two fighters. Four missiles coming from the port side!"
	"Good Lord..." was all the captain could say.

	The CIWS guns on both sides batted down a Harpoon and two of the
Exocets, but the rest got through. One Exocet hit the number three turret,
blowing the crap out of it. The other Exocet hit the port hull. Two of the
Harpoons impacted the starboard hull, whilst the third hit the bridge, killing
everyone there. When the smoke cleared, the New Jersey was listing heavily to
starboard, and the ship was being driven from the CIC.
	"Commander!" said the sonar officer in the CIC. "We have two high-speed
screws coming at us from the starboard!"
	"Abandon ship! That's right, all hands abandon shi--" were the last
words of the New Jersey's Executive Officer.

****************************************************************************

	The first torpedo impacted the bow magazines, cooking off the ammo
there and breaking the ship's back. The second found the fusion reactor, and
the New Jersey went where Loni Henderson had sent it in a fhuge fireball. From
the ready room in TRES HQ, Lord Tilden Owsen could only smile as the death of
the New Jersey played across the big viewer. Guru of the South, on the other
hand, was very exuberant as he shouted, "Shoot that ship! Blow that up!
KKIIILLLLLLL TTTHHHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!"
	He then stopped and looked around, feeling a little sheepish. Owsen
just kept smiling as he reached into his desk refrigerator and offered him a
Jolt. "No need to apologize, Leftenant," he said. "I like to see that sort of
thing. But not too often in a professional setting, ok?"

****************************************************************************

	Neon turned to the bridge crew, angled a thumb back towards the viewer,
and said, "How do you think they feel now? Better, or worse?" He got more than
a few chuckles from the younger crew, but a reproachful glare from Ford cut
them off. It hardly mattered that his body language shifted a few seconds later
to a pose that said that he never meant a non-word of it.

	Brody and Aruba were faring much worse. The Stryfe-Rejects were
swarming, and only a few redshirts remained. The only reason the battle hadn't
spilled out into the seaQuest proper was Aruba's gyroslug SMG. Brody shouted,
"These rifles weren't made to hose crowds! We need something bigger!"
	As if on cue, Ian Chapin said, "Step aside, redshirts." The wall of
redshirts parted like the Red Sea to admit him and his assault cannon, which
was just beginning to rev...

# Led Zeppelin "Rock and Roll"

	When it had fully revved, Ian held the trigger down, sweeping the
assault cannon in a wide arc. 25mm shells flew out at a furious pace, 
decimating the crowd of rejected Stryfes in a heartbeat. Brody and his men were
on the floor, covering their ears and praying to whatever deities they believed
in that Ian Chapin knew what he was doing. 
	Their prayers were answered before they even said them, for Ian had 
almost single-handedly reduced a crowd of mutant monsters to tomato paste
within a minute. Ian let go of the trigger, and the barrels slowed to a stop.
Brody peeled himself off the floor as Ian smiled a smile of pleasant suprise,
looking at his weapon with the reverent awe that it so richly deserved. "God, I
love this gun," he whispered.

****************************************************************************

EPILOGUE

	Captain Bridger walked onto the bridge to see Kappa Squad off. He might
have initially disapproved of Mad Piper's boarding the ship like this, but if
it wasn't for him, Bridger would still be another dinosaur worshipper. He was
reminded of a quote from a movie he had seen when he was younger: "You can't
tap people on the shoulder anymore, you need a sledgehammer." At any rate, the
despongifiers had done what they could, and pronounced their efforts
successful. 
	"Mad Piper, never in my years in the navy have I seen something like I
have seen here. You board my ship in order to help us and to deliver a blow to
Stryfe's attempts to take over the world. And I don't know what else to say
but.. thank you."
	"The pleasure was at least 85% mine, Captain."
	"Haha.. but seeing as how you're an Admiral and all.. Ship's company,
ATTEN-SHUN!!!" The crew snapped to with machine-like precision. Bridger turned
to MP, saluting. "I relieve you, Admiral Mad Piper."
	Mad Piper returned the salute. "Captain Bridger, I stand relieved."
Piper then fastened his helmet as he took his place amongst the other members
of Kappa Squad. "TRES Command, this is Kappa Squad. Teleport now." The squad
dissolved in a blue flash of Industrial Light and Magic.
	Bridger sighed happily. "Ensign Henderson, is the Temporal Drive
ready?"
	"Ready as it ever will be, sir."
	"Good. Mr. Piccolo, take us home."
	"Aye aye, sir."
	As the seaQuest sailed into the temporal eddy, Bridger reflected on
just how unpredictable life, and this temporal drive in particular was. The
crew had no idea where they'd end up, or if they'd be together. The seaQuest
might end up in a cornfield in Iowa, for all Bridger knew. He closed his eyes
and thought of his grandson as the seaQuest returned to its own time..

****************************************************************************

MEANWHILE, IN BLF HEADQUARTERS...

	Stryfe watched the screens as they continued to send reports on the
state of the BLF after the TRES Corps' devastating attack. He had lost a
supersub, a car, and a battleship in the whole affair, as well as countless
soldiers' lives and materiel. On the bright side, he would be concentrating his
efforts more toward other things. Already the keels for the BS Juila 
Navarette-Roberts and the BS Ennio Phillips, a carrier and a sub, respectively,
had been laid at the Utopia Barney Naval Shipyards. And plans were in the works
for a lunar laser station.
	Stryfe intoned, "Laugh while you can, Jihaddi fools. For I will be 
back, and I will have my revenge!"

# Morrissey "Margaret on the Guillotine"*

				THE END

*(Ok, this is pretty obscure and a departure from my usual selection. It's 
included because the chorus line goes "When will you die?" -- J-R)

To be concluded in STRYFESEND........