From: The Dentist (dennist@hydro.cac.stratus.com)
 Subject: Attack on BARNEYVILLE 
 Newsgroups: alt.tv.dinosaurs.barney.die.die.die, alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die, alt.tv.barney, alt.discordia, alt.horror.cthulhu
 Date: 1993-10-04 16:41:14 PST 


It was one of those humid days in the jungle. The rain poured down
upon us all, spattering thru the leaves and trees. You couldn't tell
if your shirt was soaked from the few drops that got thru, or from your
own sweat. The hike would be hard enough for a day's walk, but carrying
a 50 pound pack along with the weapons in fatigues... well, it's not
a way to spend your vacation. 

  But this wan't vacation. It was work. We'd been dropped off near an
inlet off Goonrot Bay just before dawn two days ago. We had to trudge thru the
hills and swamps, filled with gastly mosquitos and leeches, watching ever
so carefully for the Chameleons... his followers. How many we missed
I'll never know, but they lobbed in mortar rounds every so often, and the 
group went from 17 to 11 fast. 2 were walking wounded. But there comes
a point where the challenge leaves off, and angry determination takes
over.
 
  Now, here we were, only 500 yards from the target, and we had to wait
for dusk... 1/2 hour from now. We could make out the speakers in the distance.
repeating a litany to the poor bastards that were living in the settlement.
Pete "Pico" Saldano wanted to lob in all the high explosives and open up on
the huts in a "Spray and Pray" attack.  Crackshot Chuckie was more patient
though. He was a deliberate predator. He whispered to himself as he thought
thru how to hit the target. I just wanted to get the bugger and get out
alive and sane. But that was a dim hope, now that they knew we had landed.

  Pico settled next to me, and quietly whispered "I been thinkin..."
  "I've heard ya", I replied.
  He continued, "Who sold us out? They seemed to know where we were landing.
They been watching us all the way up the valleys. They had chameleons the
whole way up. How can they have that many?"
  I thought the same thing. I mean, with the number of chameleons we'd taken
out during our little trek, and those who we heard running away thru the bushes,
they must have had 1 every coupla hundred yards. With this think jungle, you
can't possible cover all that square milage so thick with the lizards. 
They *must* have known we were coming in.
  "Time to go. Remember your positions, and if the target comes into view,
take the shot." That was the most I'd heard the Lt say all day.

   We picked up and began snaking our way thru the brambles. Overhead we heard
a Chopper pass by, leaving the grounds. We'd all frozen, aching to hear the
breaking limbs and shuffle as a bomb dropped down our throats, but nothing.
No sound. None. It was like all living things had ben silenced. That was what
was scaring me - the utter silence. In fact, when I stepped on an old branch
beneath the matting of the jfell in with ungle floor, it seemed louder thaan the Who at a
Live performance. 
   By the time we reached the perimeter, we'd heard the speech so many times
it was like the back of my hand.
   "I love you, you love me..."
   I found myself mouthing the words. Damn!! next time, earplugs. If there is
a next time.
   I saw Crackshot Charlie take to a tall tree like a kid on a jungle gym.
   Pico was nervously itching he safety. My safety was off, and I began slinking
thru the high grass toward the compound. 
    That's when it happened. A voice behind me shouted , "I Looove You Barney!
I Looooove You!!" I looked in time to see the Phillips kid running out behind
me, with a night flare fizzing away! It was him. "We're here!", he screamed.
"Over here!!"

   A second later the crack of a rifle split the night air. Charlie had seen
the target. Then all hell broke loose. Shots began coming in from the encampment,
and Phillips dropped to his knees, shot by the Lizard Guards. Pico finished him 
off with a fusillade. I heard the mortars going off from inside the  camp. 
   Tracers began going off all around us, and I ran with the rest of the troop
toward Barneyville. I chose my shots carefully, but the results were the same.
When we penetrated the village square, I saw him. Big. Purple. Tail. Moronic look.
I opened up with it all, plus a few grenades to boot. No good. I looked closely
and saw then, that it was plastic. "It's an ambush!" The Lt called out "Fall
back! Fall back!"

    We left the village at a dead run. I noticed Charlie hanging lifeless in
the tree. Pico never got out. 
   The Bastard must have used the Chopper when we got too close.
    We lost 7 more men that day. And only the Lt and Gonzo and I got out of
that jungle alive. 

    We heard that he set up a new base somewhere in Texas, now.
    We're going after him. Not for the glory, but for our own sanity.

    We must get Barney. We must.

The Dentist