[JPV HQ: ArchChancellor's Office - Pittsburgh, PA - 1:15pm EST] "...afternoon...initiate...up?" Puppeteer muscled an eyelid open and was disoriented as he realized his head was resting on a pile of requisition forms. "Sir, it's after noon! You're due for the initiation ceremony in fifteen minutes! Don't you think you should get up?" Keirah, Pupp's current apprentice/secretary/assistant/gofer was poking him repeatedly and pointing to a data-pad held in her other hand. Pupp vaguely remembered writing the document and saving it on a Jolt[tm] and coffee-fueled all-nighter just hours before. He struggled to get himself upright and rubbed his eyes. He suddenly realized he was still clothed in his normal civilian clothing, which, while definitely stylish (for the late 1950's, at least), would not be suitable for a high JPV ceremony. Bowling shirts just don't command respect like they used to. He spun around and started frantically searching the contents of a few piles of clothing tossed in the corner of his office. " *cough* Ahem." Keirah was holding his robes and hat, both neatly pressed and de-gnomed[1]. "Thanks Kay[2]. Take the rest of the day off, okay?" Pupp sprinted out of the office, heading for "The Hall," and a suitable bathroom to change in. [JPV HQ: "The Great Hall (of self-flogging)"[3] - Pittsburgh, PA - 1:21pm EST] Katze Brenner was getting worried. The natives (in other words, something like 300 mages of various temperaments and mind-states) were getting restless. The memo sent out the week before had told everyone to be there at 1:00pm sharp. Unfortunately, the AC had yet to show. Katze looked at her watch, examined the crowd, and thought to herself, "he better get here soon, or all hell is going to break loose." [JPV HQ: Administration Wing - Pittsburgh, PA - 1:21pm EST] A tornado swept through the hallways, knocking initiates aside, causing paperwork to be ejected from arms, occasionally yelling a "Sorry! My bad!" The AC was running at full speed to The Great Hall, torpedoes be damned. [JPV HQ: "The Great Hall" - Pittsburgh, PA - 1:25 EST] Pupp barreled into the Hall, ran up the stairs to the stage, and proceeded to trip over the top step. Landing smack on his face, much to the gleeful entertainment of the now-not-so-bored assembled mages, Pupp let go of the data pad he was carrying. The pad nearly bonked the ducking Katze on the head, and somehow managed to land on the podium in the center of the stage. The AC struggled to his feet, and moved over to the podium. "Right. Quiet down now! It wasn't that bloody funny!" He waited for the laughter to die off, and righted his official pointy-hat. "Okay now, we're here for a reason today. Many of you have shown great achievements in the not-quite-year that we've been around. Today, we're going to honor you." He pressed a button on the podium, and turned around to watch a screen descend from the ceiling. He rolled up his sleeves and made some complicated hand gestures. The JPVers in attendance were surprised to see a diagram of the JPV ranks appear in a blueish-white glowing text. "Now, for those of you who are not aware of our so-called ranking system, here it is. We rank from one through nine, and various geometric shapes are assigned to the numbers." He chuckled and idly waved a hand. "These," pointing to an almost identical diagram which had just appeared, "are the Lyran rankings. You'll notice they also use one through nine, and are arranged as 'circles.' Essentially, our system is copied from theirs, but with some mocking involved." He waved a hand, and the diagrams both disappeared. They were replaced with the JPV logo, two hands seemingly casting a spell to create the sun flanked by the words: 'Wisdom, Knowledge, Vigilance.' "Those of you who will be honored today have shown that you embody those words that we use for our motto." He pointed at the screen. "Wisdom, Knowledge, and Vigilance." He waved Katze up to the podium. "As Ms. Brenner announces your name, please come up and receive your new emblem for your robes." Katze stepped up to the podium and proceeded to read off names. After a while, all the new ranks were handed out, and there were many pleased JPV members in the audience. Even though the ranks didn't officially mean anything authority-wise, there was definitely a feeling of accomplishment for receiving one. Gaining a rank showed that you were progressing in your education and mastery of your magical skills and wisdom. Katze indicated to Pupp that she was done, but didn't leave the podium. Katze spoke, "We do have one more thing to take care of before we all take off for the reception." She looked down to her datapad. "Initiate Cygnata, could you please come up?" Pupp stepped over to a wooden chest conspicuously placed in the middle of the stage. He opened it up, and reached inside. He removed a large bundle wrapped in silver paper. Cygnata reached the podium and waited. Katze continued, "Initiate Cygnata, is it true that you are interested in furthering your magical abilities by becoming a member of the Jihad Praxeum Veneficus?" "Yes." "Is it also true that you have a Functional Cerebrum[tm]?" "Yes." "Will you do whatever it takes to rid the planet of the demon known as B'harnii?" "Yes." "Are you a human, and not a cabbage or something?" "Ye... er. What?" The assembled mages broke into laughter. Pupp was laughing heartily, and Katze had a large grin on her face. "Let's try this again. Are you a human, and not a cabbage or something?" "Uh.. yeah, I guess." Katze took the bundle from Pupp's hands. "Good! Welcome to the JPV." She unwrapped the bundle, revealing a brand-new set of robes. She gave them to Cygnata. "You are now an official member of the Jihad Praxeum Veneficus, and no longer an initiate. Wear your robes with pride." Katze smiled, shook Cygnata's hand, and yielded the podium to the ArchChancellor. Pupp turned to face Cygnata. "I'm happy to have you in the org. You show promise, and we're going to do what we can to make sure that that promise becomes something a bit more concrete for you. There's only one more thing left." At that, he lifted his staff and moved it in a complicated motion. A light appeared on the podium, which slowly stretched to form a long, conicular shape. It gradually became less translucent and formed into a purple hat decorated with a single yellow swan on the front. "I present to you your so-called 'pointy hat.' This is forever the symbol that you are a magic-user. Wear it proudly with your robes, or whenever you feel it is appropriate. Congratulations, you're know a Really-Truly-Definitely-Highly Official JPVer with the rank of Sixth Rectangle." Pupp placed the hat on Cygnata's head, slightly off-kilter. "Any words?" Cygnata looked around, blushing heavily. "Uh.. thanks?" The AC chuckled. "You're very welcome." He turned to the crowd and seemed to consider something for a second. "I think it's high time to get a bit PISSED! Last one to the bar is a rotten minion!" The Hall emptied almost immediately as the mages rushed to the HQ pub to celebrate. FOOTNOTES: 1. With the increase in magical activity at the HQ, magical beings had begun to make their way into the complex. Gnomes in particular had shown themselves to be extremely annoying, especially for their puzzling habit of hiding in clothing. JPVers had to become accustomed to coaxing small beings out of stored clothing with food, money, or whatever they could use. The process became known as de-gnoming. 2. Because of the proliferation of "Kei" names in the Jihad, Pupp calls Keirah by her first letter... "Kay." 3. The Great Hall at JPV HQ has somehow become the "Great Hall of Self-Flogging" for most of the JPV membership. It is rumored that this is due to a conversation between the ArchChancellor and Grand Admiral of TRES during the construction. Which one is credited to the quote, no-one is quite sure. Copyright PuppetMaster Productions, (C) 2001. Pupp [lt.commander-trescorpsARCHCHANCELLOR-JPVtriumadjunctJIHADCODEKEEPER] JCodes[tm] v4.0 beta 1 - jumbo.sandwich.net/jihad -------------------------------------------------- TJ.2 TA.1 AC.2 CS.2 MG.2 PS.2 CO.2 RP.3 SP.2 WD.1 TP-1 SK.2 FT.2 OS.3 BB.2 KL.3 TR.3 TR.M BV.2 MV.2 MS.2 TN.1