Subject: Operation Phoenix: Ego Trippin'

        by J. FoxGlov, foxglov@ksu.edu

   "I mean ... I ... can fly
        like a bird in the sky ..."
                       -Nikki Giovanni
                       (there may be a reason why)

   "This is too weird..."
   "You ain't just spittin' soda."
   
   J shook his head and struggled to clear his thoughts. Snowflakes flew
about his face like visual white noise, blown by stratospheric winter winds
that blew his clothes about his skinny frame in waves. He mused it might
even seem chilly, what with the air raking his fur in lines, icy fingers
reaching straight to the skin. That was, if he could still feel the chill.
He mused how it might no longer be possible for him to feel an extreme
temperature. Change was occurring one step after another, and he wondered
how anyone could be expected to keep up.

   For example, the last few minutes. Being knocked unconscious and revived
within an hour's time can seriously jar someone's short-term memory. Even
if said someone was running on a single raw bioelectric pulse as a
metabolism, it seemed. J wasn't even entirely sure how it all happened...
except for the slight chocolate aftertaste on his tongue and the Mickey
Dee's disposable refreshment container still clutched in his hand.

   "C'mon. Reflection time's over. Time to wake up and smell the reality."

   J tossed away the paper cup and stared forward. Then there was this guy,
the one with the leering smirk and the strangely familiar face. This, of
course, is known as obvious pseudoironic understatement.

   "How'd you know that was reflection time?" J stared back at his
double, trying to get a point of reference. Something had to be different
between them, something he could use to his advantage. Else this close
encounter with schizophrenia could go on forever. Worse, he could
actually Lose.

   "How'd I know? Simple, really," said his double, whom J realized was
also called J. "It's what I would've done."

   So_much_for_obvious_differences... J concentrated, trying to pick out
something, anything to start with. It appeared, with his head tilted the
other way, that his double was doing the exact same thing.

   "I suspect we better hit the running dialogue soon. My narrator's going
to have trouble keeping track of us."

   "Agreed," said the Other J, lolloping over, making at least one
difference between the two foxes apparent: this one's black armband, which
would show the HellWyrm's head on a lance in the native reality, rather
showed a different design, sans pointy objects. J's eyes widened as he
read the gold-embroidered words beneath B'Harnii's face:

   "Personal Assassin to His Purpleness, Barney."

   The bearer of this armband raised an eyebrow, and followed J's gaze to
his arm, which invoked an impish grin. "Oh yeah...and I was just soooo
happy to get this. I had worked so hard for it, too." The double stuck
his index fingers to his cheeks and dimple-twisted, giggling in a tone J
recognized as... affected.

   The double lunged forward and grabbed J's arm, yanking him over where
his ear was right against the double's mouth, which was quick enough to get
the message across before it provoked an instinctive rake to the eyes.

   "Hey. They're watching us. I think we'd be better off over there."

   J blinked, then nodded slightly, and allowed himself to be guided to the
other side of the platform, still reeling at the circumstances.

--

   "Th-they're moving away! Empress, why are they moving away?"

   B'Harnii stared straight forward, mono-tooth bared but clenched tightly
in a nervous grin, and spoke out the side of his mouth. "BJ, you can still
see them... and they're not moving off this platform until one of the two
wins. Just be patient."

   B'Hee J'Hay whined and pouted. "B-but they're too faaaar! I can't hear
what they're saying!" He waved his free arm about, writhing annoyedly,
almost indifferent to the huge stitch that crossed his frontside, raw and
oozing green from when the Empress had slit him open before.

   B'Harnii turned a frantic glance on the X'Hirjq Empress, who was
standing next to him watching the Jihad fight. Getting no response (and
not really looking for one,) B'Harnii turned back towards B'Hee J'Hay.
"Don't worry about it, heh heh... there's plenty more to watch here..."
His voice trailed off. B'Hee J'Hay regarded his magenta benefactor with
a cold stare, and relented, sulking.

   B'Harnii breathed shakily, and again turned to the platform where the
Jihaddi fought. Should_have_expected_he_wouldn't_have_sense_wnough_to
shut_up_and_stay_alive, he thought. Out of the corner of one eye, he
saw the Empress turn towards him ever so slightly. Was that a smirk...?

--

   J gave J number Two a shove and backed off. "That's far enough."

   The other blinked, and shook his shoulders. "Fine. Just wanted to get
out of the line of their ..." he jerked his head towards the three demon
'saurs, "sight. Nothing they need to see."

   J's eyes narrowed. "What do you care? Since it's obvious they expect us
to fight, why do we have to be in any special place?" He pointed his finger
in realization. "You're hiding something."

   "Hmm, must not be hiding it very well if you can pick it up." The double
chuckled darkly and held up his hand, sending sparks between the fingers
Jacob's-ladder style. "I just figured since we're going to be learning so
much about each other, there are some things I think about ol' Eggplant-
Puss that he doesn't need to hear."

   Now it was J's turn to raise eyebrows. "First of all, why should I give
a flying fuck what there is to learn about you, and second of all..."

   "Second of all, why do I need to be hiding stuff from Barney? I'll
answer that one first. To be honest, the guy's annoying as hell and was
probably the worst thing to happen to the human race."

   The double paused, and helpfully pushed J's gaping jaw shut. "You have
a right to be surprised... but I'll explain. I'm not working for Barney
for his sake. Not really, anyway."

   "Then why..."

   "Why not?" J2 grinned ferally. "I mean, he took the trouble to do ..."
he gestured across his torso with his arms, "this to me. For whatever
reason he needs me. Who am I to question a deal like that?"

   J blinked, not believing what he was hearing. "But..."
   
   "But...I didn't get to answer your first question." The double sneered
and walked towards J, until they stood nose to nose. "The reason you ought
to care about me is that we're the same."

   J raised a finger and pushed the double away by the nose. "Yer standing
too close. And we're *not* the same... there has to be some difference,
else this wouldn't mean a thing."

   The double rubbed his nose and chuckled darkly. "A meaning? You're
looking for a *meaning* in this little exchange?" He stepped forward again
and bumped chests with J. "Here's all the meaning you need. We're up here
to fight until one of us goes down for the count. You're right, there are
differences... they seem minor, but they're very important. I want you to
learn 'em all... just before you eat floor tile."

   J stared dead ahead into his adversary's eyes and growled, his hands
balling to fists. He snorted, looked down, and turned away. "Fine... talk.
Tell me whatever." I_need_a_place_to_start, he thought. Might_as_well_play
on_his_ego.

   A mocking laugh followed J as he walked away. "I expected as much from
the likes of you," the double said into J's back. "Ignoring your battles,
even when you stare destruction in the face." J turned, and saw the
confident smile turn to a scowl. "I could admire it... but I know better.
Nothing but the exact same thing that wiped out humanity..."

   J whirled around, catching his double off guard. "Wiped out?"

   Another grin, this one almost sadistic. The double bit his lower lip and
whistled in descending notes, making a finger motion like a spiraling
airplane. "Kaput. Zorch. Splat. They didn't think it could ever happen to
'em... fucking morons decided their society was just so suuuuper-dee-dooper
that it could stand the test of time all on its own. So little by little,
it all fell away."

   J frowned. This_guy_could've_benefitted_from_a_social_psych_class, he
thought. "OK... so then B'Harnii took over the planet, is that what
happened next?"

   The double laughed. "Nah, that's the beauty of it... way it turned out,
he didn't have to do a damned thing. It wasn't just parents taking their
kids for granted, and it wasn't just what was on the TV sets. It was 
everything that their society depended upon. Barney stepped in ... and they
didn't stand a chance."

   J closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge between them, not wanting to
think about a world like that. There was a very pregnant pause, and he
looked up to face his double again, who merely gave a shrug. "This doesn't
bother you, I take it," J said, trying to maintain a nonchalant front.

   "Bother me? Why should it bother me? If the fucking humans were stupid
enough to let it happen to themselves, they *deserve* what they got!"

   J slowly crossed the platform to meet his double again, staring daggers.
"You knew this was happening, and you could have done something. Didn't you
feel any need to ... I don't know, warn them maybe?"

   The double stared back, and spoke with a chilling clarity of thought.
"What do I care what happens to humans?"

   J made up the last few steps in a mad dash. "You *ARE* human!"

   "No, I'm *not*, and neither are you!" The double met J's stare with his
own, hard and cold. "Didn't you ever hear of survival of the fittest? You
... we ... are the more fit to exist. We can command more power than any
human can even begin to understand, let alone wield. We can do it ..." The
double raised his hand again as blue sparks again congealed and flicked
off. "... at our fingertips."

   J continued to stare, but his expression had changed ever so slightly.
He let his counterpart continue, without a word in reply. "Which is why,"
the double went on, "I find it so unbearably stupid of *you*, who could
someday hope to hold the world in the palm of your hand, are wasting your
time with this miserable excuse for a team, fighting for a cause and a
people who couldn't give a damn about what you're trying to do! Give it up,
Fox, it's not worth your trouble."

   Something clicked inside J's head at those last words. A wry smile
slowly formed on his face, so subtly that his double was forced to blink.
J began to replay the whole encounter over in his mind. It wasn't just
twice his double had given off sparks during the dialogue. In fact, he had
noticed them flying off his double's person almost constantly. He had
thought it was an attempt at showing off, but putting two and two together,
maybe that wasn't the case.

   Finally, he spoke. "'Not worth my trouble.' Tell me something ... what's
with those sparks that keep flying off your hands and such?"

   The double chuckled. "What do you mean?"

   "I don't do that very often at all, yet we're at about the same level of
power right now. So I just have to wonder." There was another pause.
"You don't have control over that, do you?"

   The double's eyes narrowed. "It happens every once in a while. So what?"

   J pointed a finger and made like he was about to drive it into the
double's chest. "You were going on full tilt about all the power you and I
could command. Yet all you have to show for all of it is that armband. The
one you got by playacting the role of B'Harnii's personal butt-kisser."

   The double snorted. "That lizard's going down on his own. You and I both
know it. That'll be my chance to step in ..."

   "And then what? What will be left to exert power over? What'll you have
to be superior to? Even if it turns out you're the fittest among every last
vestige of life on this world to survive ... what of it? What's the point
of survival if you're the only one left?"

   Now_it's_your_turn_to_be_speechless, J thought rather smugly. He wasn't
even sure this line would have worked, but for now, it seemed like a good
idea to keep it up. He retained his composure to his wide-eyed and silent
doppleganger, and kept going. "That's my way of thinking. But you don't
need to worry about it ... all you need to do is defeat me, so you can go
on. So go ahead."

   "Wh...what?" The double looked genuinely surprised. "Defeat ... you ..."

   "Yeah, I mean it." J grabbed his double by the wrists and raised his
arms, pulling his double's hands up to his own temples. "You know what to
do. Take your best shot."

   The double sputtered, but made little other moves, which only provoked
J all the more. "Feeling squeamish? Come on, you know there's no blood
involved. You just extend your biolectric field around me and absorb my
energy. You've done this before, so let's get on with it."

   I_get_you_mad_enough,_you'll_go_along_with_it, J told himself. "Come
on!" He was screaming through the snowfall into the double's face. "I mean
it, asshole!" He yanked hard on the double's wrists, pressing the palms
to the sides of his head.

   Then it hit. An electric field erupted from the double's hands, and
enveloped J's body. He could feel himself starting to lose cohesion, and
his energy slowly being drained. His vision slowly blurred as he watched
the double's face.

--

   [Yes. They have begun.]

   The X'hirjq Empress exhaled slowly, teeth bared ever so slightly as she
watched the platform battles. Her psionic speech startled B'Harnii, who
had been busy trying to keep B'Hee J'Hay's wounds closed, since they kept
reopening as the yellow demon squirmed, trying to get a better look. It
had been exasperating work. Not even B'Harnii himself had seen brazen
immaturity surpass the point where pain had no effect.

   B'Harnii looked up, glancing at the Empress. She seemed a bit more
steely in her gaze, leaning forward to take in the spectacle. He shook his
bloated head and returned to business. Almost every thought was of despair
by now; he was slowly losing the hold he thought he had. The feeling was
somewhat like the one a hotel carpet pad has while the hotel hosts a sumo
wrestler convention.

   "What...? Wait, I wanna see! I Wanna SEE, Barney!" B'Hee J'Hay thrashed
against the scraps of wire and rope B'Harnii had used to tie him down
restraint-style.

   "BJ ..." B'Habee B'Hop squeaked pitifully from where she lay, herself
a mess of wounds incurred by the Empress. "Barney's trying ... to help ...
you need to stay quiet." Pastel ooze was still trickling from the huge
rip in her torso where the Empress's sword had impaled her.

   "But whyyyyyy?? We came up here to see the Jihaddi get smashed! Now we
have to stay quiet where we can't see what's happening?" B'Hee J'Hay almost
snarled at his sister, his eyes reflecting no trace of his serious
injuries.

   B'Haby B'Hop turned and gave B'Harnii one last desperate glance before
her head collapsed again. B'Harnii sighed heavily, and reached for a nearby
radio antenna that had ripped from the building's rooftop.

   The Empress paid no attention to the three HellWyrms, her tongue
flickering across her lips. How_interesting, she thought privately.
This_one_fights_by_forcing_his_other_to_use_his_power,_sacrificing_his_own.
If_he_succeeds,_his_other_gets_the_power_..._shoved_right_down_his_throat.

   She grinned to herself, finding her own command of the human expression
amusing. She made no move to indicate the solid *THWACK* of metal against
yellow-hued demon flesh had any effect on her attention to the battles.

--

   [Something's wrong. I ... can't ... ]

   J grinned mightily at the psionic link somehow allowed by his double.
The bioelectric field had grown to encompass both their bodies, which
was all the evidence J needed to know what was wrong. [You can't hold it,
can you?] he sent back.

   It was taking all his concentration to keep from flying apart. His
vision had blurred to where the face of his double, eyes pinched closed in
desperation, bore only the outlines of details. He could feel his double
reach exhaustion each passing moment -- not physical exhaustion,
physicality meant next to nothing at this point. The most accurate way to
describe it ...

   His_nerve's_giving_out, J thought. He was staring death in the face now,
represented in this horribly skewed version of himself. He realized how
easily he could have been just like this other, and how gravely important
one's innermost feelings and attitudes were.

   [Hey.]

   The double's eyes snapped open in anguished, exasperated fear. [No, I
can't do it! You were right, damn you ... I can't!!]

   J finally saw it. The double didn't need to bring his thoughts into any
more words. He sensed the flow of energy reverse, and he latched onto it
with his mind, transferring it back to himself.

   Within moments J found himself completely renewed ... but his double
was still being drained of energy at an escalating rate. [What are you
doing?] J was almost surprised at his own concern for his double's life.
Even though he conceivably could have ceased to exist at the double's
hands, he found it impossible not to pity the other's life.

   [I can't go on this way,] the reply came. [You were right ... I don't
have any *reason* to live like this ... and it was killing me anyway.]
J realized too late what this meant. What was left of the double's body
vanished, leaving a few vestigial ashes behind in a small heap.

   J staggered, and fell to a crouch. The field hadn't been reabsorbed
completely, and he felt like a balloon about to explode. The double could
barely hold his own energies in check, but J realized neither could hold
the sum of both alone. He fumbled for an idea, hanging on every second...

   Then it came. "He wanted ... to reach the top ... " J gasped the words
out aloud. " ... may as well give him what he wanted ..."

   He lunged, throwing his arms to the sky. "Welcome to the next level."
A tremendous column of energy, blue and white like a lightning bolt turned
upside down erupted from his hands into the air, cutting a giant hole in
the clouds of snow and impacting on the earth's ionosphere with great
spidery fingers. J himself couldn't be seen in the incredible glow, bright
like the sun and silent like the tomb.

   The flash flickered, and passed, leaving J visible again. His arms 
dropped, an
d the rest of his restored body followed. He rolled to one side and 
looked up, fi
nally noticing the Empress and the HellWyrms as they watched.
   It took a moment to realize his mouth hung open, and that he was
breathing heavily. It wasn't because he needed air, he knew that much. It
was only the repetition of what he had done so many times in the past after
he had been taxed to his limit. It shouldn't have been in his nature, but
yet it was. It was ... very human.

   After a few more moments, he slowly rose to his feet and faced the
Empress, giving a short nod in her direction. From her vantage point, she
returned the gesture, then went back to watching the remaining battles.
He squinted at B'Harnii, who seemed too glum to make much of a reply. It
was ok; he really wasn't looking for one.

   He looked down at himself, brushing his fur out in places where charge
had built up in places he'd been too out of it to notice. He no longer felt
the shame of the few days before, instead he was elated. He had
rediscovered who he was supposed to be, his reason for being elevated to
his only saving grace.

   J raised his head and glanced around, a new thought occurring to him.
"Where the hell is Owsen?"

--finis