The Return of Samhain...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

        by Fleet Commander Samhain, midnite@iastate.edu

	Samhain found himself suddenly jettisoned from his host, 
and as he frantically searched for another suitable host body, he 
suddenly came across something very interesting.  There was indeed a 
suitable host body available... but it was in orbit.  And it was... 
the exact same as his most recent host body?  But how could that 
be?  That body was buried on Earth, under tons of rock and 
dirt--buried with so many of his own men.
	The how wasn't important, though.  What was important was 
that he had somewhere to go.  His experiences in his recent host had 
been... educational, so to speak, but it was time to go.  He left a 
quick mental message inside her mind as he left, saying, "It's been fun,
but, 'It's time for me to Fly.'  See you around..." and then took off
for his new body...

**************************************************************

	The Empress stood looking at the human body before her.  She 
now had an interesting dilemma... how to notify the soul known as 
Samhain that he could return to his body.  Without knowing much more 
about him than she did, she couldn't really search for his mind, and 
besides, he may not even be in this dimension any more.  Who knew 
where such a being would go when its host was killed so suddenly?  
	Before she could think on it much further, however, she 
could sense another soul approaching her rapidly from the Earth.  
There was only one that it could be.  So, her deliberations had not 
been necessary.  She grinned broadly, as it approached, and slid 
easily into the waiting, vacant body.
	Samhain, now back in his body, sat upright, looked around and 
assessed his surroundings, and, finding them less than friendly, 
automatically slipped into a combat stance, royal purple robes flowing 
around him as he moved.
	The Empress smiled warmly at her guest, and then spoke to 
him calmly in his own language.  "Welcome, Lord Samhain.  You need 
not fear me--I did not bring you back to life only to kill you 
again!  For that matter, you have nothing to fear during your stay 
with us at all.  The robes you wear indicate that you are one of my 
guests, and as such you will be treated with respect.  I, by the 
way, am the Empress of the X'hirjq.  Come, join me and chat for a 
while."
	Samhain, somewhat taken aback at this development, relaxed 
from his combat stance and bowed deeply to his host.  "I would be 
honored, your highness.  You are much like me, I imagine... from 
many times and many places."  He clasped his hands behind his back 
and wandered over to one of the windows and looked out at the battle 
raging above the earth, soaking in his surroundings as he did so.  Along 
one wall was a throne of bones from some tremendous creature long since 
dead, the seat inside its enormous jaws.  All around were what Samhain 
guessed were religious icons and items of various designs scattered 
around, and yet, the room still seemed somewhat... spartan.  It was 
relatively dark, as well, lit only by a few torches built into the walls 
and held in a few places in the throne.  Yet somehow Samhain felt quite 
at ease and at home in this place.
	"Indeed I am.  May I ask how you knew that?"
	Samhain pondered for a moment, watched as a tremendous star cruiser 
of human design went down in flames, and then replied in a slightly bemused 
voice.  "You know, I'm not real sure.  Somehow I just knew.  I could 
just feel it.  Am I going to be allowed to return to the Earth?"
	"If you so wish.  But not for a while, in any case--it is not the 
proper time as of yet... you must remain here until it is time for the 
final test.  Until then, you are my personal guest."
	The two immortals chatted for hours, sharing stories of 
other times and other places.  It was amazing how much they had in 
common.  They talked and laughed, and watching the battle progress 
outside.  Occasionally, another X'hirjq dressed in extremely bright 
coloured robes would stop in and visit as well, make his acquaintance, 
and then leave to return to their duties.  At one point three very large 
X'hirjq came in, each dressed in his own color--one red, one yellow, and 
one blue--and talked of how they had spoken with Charcarodon after his 
death.  They stayed the longest of any of the visitors, then they too 
had left the Empress alone with her guest.
	Suddenly, Samhain was hungry and had the urge to get a snack--his 
body hadn't eaten anything in quite some time.  "Your Highness, I have the 
sudden urge to get a snack."
	"We have many kinds of foods available for you.  What would you 
like?"
	"McDonald's shakes and fries."
	"Hmm.  Despite my many lifetimes of experience, I'm afraid I have 
no knowledge of such foods."
	"Perhaps you would care to join me for a snack on Earth to 
see what it's like?"
	The Empress pondered a minute, then agreed.  "Very well, but 
before we go, I have a gift for you."  Just then, a servant entered, 
bowed to the Empress, and handed her a long, narrow, wooden box.  
She, in turn, presented it to Samhain.
	Samhain looked at the box, and then opened it.  Inside he 
found his katana, as sharp and polished as the day he'd finished 
forging it, and the wakizashi that had been in his office.  He looked up 
at the Empress, his eyes almost welling with tears, unsure what to say.
	"You were killed unjustly, and thus lost your sword 
unjustly.  I had one of my servants go retrieve it.  In the process of 
looking for it, she found the other blade as well.  No thanks are 
necessary.  Now, shall we go get that snack?"

**************************************************************

	Samhain and the Empress walked into Samhain's typical 
McDonald's hang-out, much to the surprise of all those present.  
Heads turned, and eyes boggled at the sight of a giant lizard 
dressed entirely in snow-white robes and a human companion in 
royal-purple ones, two swords tucked under the silken rope around 
his waist at his left side.  The two could only grin and wait 
their turn in line, while the others forced themselves back to their 
meals or jobs, pretending to take no notice.
	"I know from our earlier discussions that you tend to eat things 
raw, Highness, but I believe there's something here you might like 
anyway.  It's called a 'Shake' and we in the Jihad hold it as most 
valued of all..." just then, Samhain noticed the man in front of him 
fumbling in his pockets for cash for his meal.  "Go on--have a 
seat.  I'll cover the rest of it," he said as he tapped the man on 
the shoulder.
	"Umm, Okay..." came the baffled response.  He wasn't gonna 
argue with a free meal, especially with a guy carrying swords and 
with a giant lizard who ate things raw for a friend.
	The clerk, just coming in after a shift change, noted that the 
next customer was going to pick up the tab as well as his own.  
However, he hadn't noticed the two strange guests until he looked up 
to take the order.  "Hello, how can I helll...." his eyes nearly 
popped out of their sockets as his voice trailed off.  "ahem, how can I 
help you?"
	"25 large shakes, any kinds, and 16 large orders of fries, 
plus that last guy's order."
	"Umm, okay..." he punched it up, and went about getting the 
food ready, his mind buzzing with thoughts and questions.
	Samhain reached his fingers into the secret compartment in 
the base of his katana and pulled out his "in case of 
emergency..." Grimace Card, and laid it on the counter, its edges 
still curled slightly from its long storage inside the sword.
	"That'll be...." the clerk started, and then noticed the 
card setting on the counter. "Umm, nevermind.  Have a nice day!"  As 
the 2 picked up the trays piled high with food and headed to their 
table, he couldn't help but stare.  Wasn't that Samhain?  Who else 
carried swords into a McDonald's?  And wasn't he supposed to be 
dead?  And what of the lizard?  Wasn't earth at war with them?  He 
shook his head briefly to clear his head, realizing what others 
would think if he tried to tell them about it. The only reaction he 
could imagine was the one his friend had gotten when he had told people 
that Elvis had been in for dinner.

	The two robed friends took a seat in a corner booth, as it 
was the only table with enough room to accommodate a large lizard, a 
man with swords, and several mountains of shakes and fries all at once.
	Samhain motioned for the Empress to try some shakes and 
fries, and dug in himself after salting some of the fries heavily.  
	She returned a puzzled look, and then did as indicated, taking 
a scoop of fries in a clawed hand and stuffing them in her large 
mouth, then took a gulp of a strawberry shake, as it was the closest one 
to her.  She paused briefly, pondering it, and grinned broadly at 
Samhain.  "What did you say these were called again?"
	Samhain grinned.  "French Fries and Shakes.  Our Lord 
Grimace brings us the shakes himself."
	The two munched away happily, and Samhain watched the Empress 
closely for her reactions.  Watching closely was hardly necessary.  The 
Empress, unused to having anything but natural sugars in her diet, 
started getting kind of goofy and wired.  She winked one of her large 
reptilian eyes at Samhain, and turned the manager's hat into a large 
unseemly bird of some kind as he happened by.  It flew around a bit as 
people ducked and hid, then landed on head again, bent its head over on 
its long, curved neck, peered into his eyes, and proptly turned back 
into a hat.  Samhain tried to stifle his giggles, and did so somewhat 
successfully until the Empress finished her 5th shake and then gestured 
at the Big Mac value meal that had just been put on the counter across 
the room.  The Big Mac instantly hopped out of its box, sprouted legs, 
and started chasing the fries around (which had also sprouted legs and 
begun to flee) and devouring them "alive."  Samhain lost it completely at 
that, and had to wipe his eyes as well as his mouth as they got up to 
leave.
	"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to play with your food, 
Highness?" teased Samhain.
	"Why, of course, Samhain.  But not about playing with OTHER 
people's food!" she teased back as the manager attempted to tackle the 
hungry Big Mac, which had found the fries just climbing out of the 
fryer and was starting to munch on them as well.
	Samhain dumped the cups and fry containers in the trash while the 
Empress scooped up the renegade Big Mac in a claw and stuffed it into her 
mouth, kicking and screaming in horror.  Samhain lost his composure yet  
again, and was laughing hysterically as they walked out the doors.  He 
steadied himself against a light pole while he composed himself for the 
walk back to the shuttle.
	"Any chance we can learn to make those, Samhain?" grinned 
the Empress.
	"We'll see if we can work something out before you leave," he gasped, 
trying to catch his breath after laughing it all out of him.
	"By the way, Samhain, there is a battle going on nearby.  
Would you care to go and watch?  Of course, I could not allow you to 
interfere, as you are supposed to be dead for now, but you could watch."
	Samhain pondered for a moment before he answered.  "Your 
Highness, I cannot do that.  If I were to so much as show myself at 
the battle, I would be interfering.  If the troops there saw that I was 
alive, they would then fight with renewed morale and conviction, 
convinced again that they would inevitably win.  No, in good faith 
and honor, I cannot allow you to take me there to watch."  He finished 
his statement, completely serious again for the first time since the 
manager's hat had flown around the McDonald's.
	"Samhain, you do indeed have honor as I was told by the 
hunting squad before you defeated them.  Very well, we shall return 
to the ship.  Also, The time draws near for you to return to your 
friends.  For your honor, I shall offer you a choice.  I can either 
teleport you somewhere, or you can take one of our older fighters down, 
reconfigured for your human physiology, weapons disabled, and with a timer 
set to explode shortly after you get out.  Your choice."
	Samhain didn't even need to think about it.  "I'll take the 
fighter," he grinned.