==================== Galand gets a letter ==================== The next day, Warrior Ashur Galand moaned as he saw that the stack of paperwork on his desk had mysteriously multiplied, as was its wont. He began to sort the mess, filing tech specs in one folder, personnel actions in another, and so on. When he came to the last paper, he started so hard, he jumped from his seat. It read: "Greetings Warrior. I, the legal reprezentutiv of Lord Barney, do herebye summun u to a court herring reguarding the charge of murdur aginst u. U are ordured to cum to Planet BBB-666 fur the court pro-seedings or else u will be arrestid by the BarnPatrol and braut by force, if necesscelery. And don't forget...Barney luvs u! Sined, Mr. Mikie Crawford" Galand looked at the rudely drawn crayolaed letter, and wondered who would play such a sick joke on him. Then, when the paper itself began to grow hot in his hands, he knew it to be no joke. He stabbed the intercom with his finger. "Shardik? It's Galand. I have to take a trip...I can't explain right now, but I'm leaving you and Samhain in charge. Warm up the _Wraith_ for launch." "Right, Ash...are you sure you can't tell me what's up?" "Odd as it sounds, I'm being brought up on murder charges." There was a definite pause, and then "Who did you kill this time?" Galand smiled ironically to himself and replied, "Who else? Lord B'Harnii..." ******* ========================= Galand's little road trip ========================= Galand readjusted the seals on his flight suit as he strode out onto the landing pad. Standing before him was the _Wraith_, a personal starfighter he had designed and built himself. It had all the options: Particle Beam cannons, photon grenade launchers, full shielding and Jihaddium/Owsenite armor, hyperdrive, a majorly kick-ass stereo system, and of course a smart ass Artificial Intelligence. The sun gleamed off its glossy black hull, and staring up at that same star, Galand wondered if he'd ever see it again. Confident that he would, he slapped his flight helmet in place, and boarded the ship. His entry was instantly greeted by an indignant "Well, it's about time!!! I thought you were going to keep me cooped up in that hangar forever!" Sighing softly, Galand answered "Hello, Michelle. Could you prep us for dustoff, please?" "Only if you apologize." "APOLOGIZE? For WHAT?" Galand cried out. "For neglecting me like you have. I mean, you're out there cavorting around with your friends, and meanwhile, I'm stuck in the hangar with no one to talk to except the base computers...they are SO boring, it's not even funny!" "Okay, I'm sorry...will you please get the damned ship ready?" An indignant series of lights flashed on Michelle's main console. "Well, okay...but you'd better make it up to me." *sigh* "How?" "Well, a good tuneup would be nice." "Okay...I'll give you a tuneup the moment we get back, deal?" "Deal!" And with that, the controls came to life. Strapping himself into the pilot's seat, Galand punched the comm and said "WEDJEE-Lab Control, this is the _Wraith_ requesting immediate departure." "Roger that, _Wraith_...you are cleared to depart." Galand gently brought the ship up on its repulsors and punched the sublight engines the moment he reached a safe distance. The sleek black ship tore through the atmosphere and out into open space. ***** Galand approached the outer limits of the solar system, waiting for the navicomp to signal "OK for Jump." He had just cleared Pluto's orbit when he saw two blips come up on the sensors. "'Chelle, gimme a visual on those two bogeys, and see if you can ID them?" "Hold on...Got it. Luvmobile class fighters. They're moving into escort positions." [Hmm..why would I need an escort?] "Open a channel." There was a bleep from the comm system, and then a purple-helmeted face appeared onscreen. The helmet was shaped in a rather decent imitation of B'Harnii's cranium, which had been lost before Galand had had a chance to grab it for a trophy. "Oh, GOODIE!!! I get to use this talking TV thingy!" Sighing in exasperation, Galand said, "Unidentified ship, this is Warrior Galand aboard the _Wraith_. Why are you moving into escort positions?" "Warrior Galand, I'm 1st Luvtenant Huggsalot. I've been told to take you to BBB-666, and make sure you get there." "Okay...I've already got the coordinates punched in to the hyperdrive. Think you boys can catch me?" "OH GOODIE!! A *RACE?*" "You betcha, bubulah. You get there before I do, you get to brag on to your spongie friends. If *I* get there before *you* do..." Galand let his words hang and instead cut loose with his "EvilGrin-2000." The spoungin on the screen swallowed visibly. "Comm off." Galand ordered, and the image promptly disappeared. "You ready, 'Chelle?" "Ready as I'll ever be, Ash. Let's make these bastards eat our exhaust!" "Okay, then..." And with that, Galand reached over and pulled the hyperdrive lever. The normal panorama of space flared into starlines, and in a flicker of pseudomotion the _Wraith_ vanished into hyperspace... TO BE CONTINUED... Will Galand be found guilty? Will he care? Will he cause major amounts of destruction on his way home? FIND OUT IN: The Trial of Warrior Galand, Part TWO! Warrior Ashur Galand, Commander-in-Chief of W.E.D.J.E.E. "Better Living thru Advanced Weaponry!" (tm) +------------------------------------------------------------------+ Warrior Ashur Galand (Doberman Empire) Deacon Sully of the Church of Blarney. Fighting for the Jihad and the Goddess against the Purple Death! Member of the Kindred Children of the Night Psionic Technomage Supreme. Prof. Clayton Forrester, Director of Dirty Tricks, Evil Geniuses For a Better Tomorrow. +------------------------------------------------------------------+ email: steve_scott@mail.utexas.edu WWW: http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~sscott/index.html +------------------------------------------------------------------+ "Back off man...I'm a scientist." ---Ghostbusters +------------------------------------------------------------------+ All material copyrighted by the original author.