"Never, never, never believe that any war will be smooth and easy." -- Winston Churchill Operation: Phoenix, Rocky Mountain Mayhem by J-Rock, jjr5020@rigel.tamu.edu # Bob Seger "Turn The Page" "J, wake up," Nina's voice said as she tried to lure me away from the lands of Morpheus. It had been a couple of days since the Atlanta battle, and the arrival of my TRES squad had awakened me from the sleep that I wasn't quite done with. After being knocked around-- nay, almost KILLED, by an overgrown stegosaur, you'd be craving sleep just the same as me. Sure, Diana's magic healed the physical injuries, but fatigue can only be cured with a nice, long nap. I peeled an eye open to regard her on the bunkside monitor and said, "Don't make me kludge the blender from Smile into your window, Nina.. ask again in five minutes." Her face took on a stern expression. "You told me to wake you when the drop site was fifteen minutes away. Well, it just so happens that the _Coryatt_ is fifteen minutes away from Colorado. Now get moving." Hard to argue with logic like that. As I swung my feet onto the stateroom floor, she added, "And if you even think about stuffing me in a blender again, I'll hack into the A&M registrar's computer and give you all F's." "Such venom, my lovely," I replied. "You know how cranky I get when I haven't got enough sleep." As I said this, I staggered over to the wardroom mirror and did my best to fix the case of bed-head I'd developed. "I know," Nina replied. "I'd never do that to you." "Nor I to you," I said, noting with some amusement the fact that I'd fallen asleep in my soft-suit. I must have been really fried, I thought as I pulled my boots on before opening a mini-fridge and extracting the prize within: A 20 oz. bottle of Dr. Pepper. Taking a long pull on the bottle, I stepped out of the room into the _AMS Quentin Coryatt_ proper. Let me tell you how this fleet of transports is set up. Mongoose, Zumi, Riko, and 'Mechs are in the _AMS J.D. Wells,_ a Broadsword-class DropShip. Captain T'larn and her B'Horn gravtank company are riding in one of the sister ships to the _Coryatt,_ _AMS Greg Hill._ _AMS Henry Cisneros,_ a Gazelle-class DropShip, was already enroute to the HQ itself, to shore up the garrison in case of a sneak attack. There, I think I've bored you enough. Back to the narrative. **************************************************************************** I stumbled into the armory only to find Tim and Aruba slapping on their CVR-3. Grabbing my own silver CVR, I saw Tim putting on his, except it was yellow plating over black undersuit. Aruba piped up, "You know what would go with that?" Tim answered, "No, and I don't really care." Undaunted, Aruba said, "Pollen. You look like a bee." I shook my head as I pulled on the leg armor. CVR-3 was also reverse-engineered to fit over TRES-spec soft-suits, a plus for the operative on the go. The Solar Ishtari didn't want to participate in the CVR refit protocol, claiming that plating would only slow them down. Apparently they haven't ridden VR-038 Cyclones, or they'd be changing their tune pretty quick. I guess there really was no need for it, seeing as how their suits have more bells and whistles than a circus calliope. Oh well, their loss. "Wrong, I look like Scorpion," Tim said. Tim loves Scorpion as much as he hates Sub-Zero, and that is saying a lot. Scorpion and Wolverines are Tim's passions, just as biscuits and whores were for Gus McCrae. And he makes no bones about that, either. "Lieutenant, it's best not to get in a row about this with Tim," I said. "Odds are you'll lose." "I was just leaving anyway," Aruba said as he stormed out of the door. I waited until the door closed, and said, "You know, this troop integration thing is something we're gonna have to work at." "Yeah," Tim said as he got up to leave. "See you at the final briefing." I just gave him a curt nod as the door hissed shut. **************************************************************************** TEN MINUTES LATER # NOFX "The Brews" _Punk in Drublic_ I sat on my Bahamode, sweeping my eyes along most of my unit as I gave those in the other ships their orders. Don and Tim were in VR-052 Cyclones, with Don's being orange, and Tim's painted yellow and black to match his armor. All of the Kappa Squad Cycs were painted gray and white, the better to blend in with the terrain we'd be in. Gypsy Joker (my new Kappa Exec) and Aruba were riding VR-041s. Ensign Frey was riding a pure stock VR-052, and Mad Max was using a Cyclone design I'd found in Undocumented Features: a VR-065 Obliviator, featuring laser miniguns on either side of the front wheel. "Captain T'larn, drop on the south side of the town. Be ready to move at a moment's notice," I said into the CVR's radio. "Yes, Admiral," she replied. Bane (the Lieutenant Commander Formerly Known as James Dow) was suited up in CVR while sitting in his Necromower. The Necromower can be best described as a Road Warrior/Beyond Thunderdome dune buggy on crack. It moved on big, spiked, iron-shod wheels, perfect for grinding Spongin. An assault cannon-like minigun added some punch at range. Ensign Keith was assigned a new Cyclone from TAMUBGD R&D to test out: a VR-141 Super Sabre. "Super Sabre," in my opinion, is a bit of a misnomer, as the new CADS-2 (an extension of the blades-that-cut- metal-like-butter concept) pods looked more like buzzsaws to me. "All mechs are to drop first and secure the LZ for the vehicles," I said. "Transports are to dust-off on our clear, then head for the HQ." I received the usual acknowledgements from the Mech drivers in response. Dan Wood rode a VR-038, with a few extras. For starters, he didn't have a rocket launcher. His Mallet o' Serious Pain occupied that slot on the front fairing. Just so that he wouldn't be completely defenseless, each arm shield sported a light beam cannon/4.45mm SMG combo. Of course, those weapons couldn't spare him a few biting remarks about cross-dressing from P-Chan, who had her own flat black and maroon 38-Light. There was a slight jolt as the _Coryatt_ touched down and the ramp extended. It was time to head back into the breach. Kickstarting my engine, I said, "Lady and gentlemen, start your engines and follow me!" We headed down the ramp into a steady snowfall to meet our Mech escorts. There was Mongoose in his Tetsujin, and Kazumi in her Summoner. Before we left Atlanta, Noriko had managed to trade the Vixen she was given by Siona for a Stormcrow. Two Pirahnas rounded out the Mech Star as we formed up and made for the town. **************************************************************************** A squad of marines from the _G.L. Pride_ stopped us as we reached the northern outskirts of the town. "Halt! Who goes ther--" they asked before they saw the simplified Maltese cross on my shoulder pad. "Admiral J-Rock! We thought you'd be arriving later than this, sir," the marine said, obviously flustered due to the novelty of the situation. "Part of me still thinks that, soldier," I responded, defusing the situation with a little humor. Smiling, the guard said, "I'll inform Commodore Marburger of your arrival." "You do that. I'd like to lead my motorized units through the city, if that's possible." "Of course, sir. There's a blizzard set to blow through here. I don't know if those vehicles can handle a storm, sir." I moved the transformation thumb-lever on my handlebars up, converting the Bahamode to mecha mode. "Rest assured that they can handle it," I said. "Yes, sir!" the marine replied, his eyes wider than dinner plates. "Besides," Bane added, "this Necromower has four-wheel drive." Switching back to motorcycle mode, I worked the helmet radio. "Zumi, you there?" "Hai," she said. "Have the Mechs skirt the plateau and meet us on the south side of town." "Roger that," she replied as the Mechs formed one line and marched off to my right. The rest of us simply rode around the improvised barricade and headed into town. **************************************************************************** The ride through town was uneventful, to say the least. There were lots of Mom-&-Pop-type stores on my left, and a real ugly-looking mini-mall on the right of the street. I shouldn't say mini-mall, coz this thing took up a great deal of Clear Springs, Colorado real estate. A reasonable approximation would be the San Marcos Factory Stores in Texas, except about three times as tacky. Just then, CyberPyro's voice came up in my headset: "Admiral J-Rock! Nice of you to make it here!" "I came as soon as I could," I answered. Up ahead, the sounds of fighting could be heard, intermingled with loudspeakers playing the Dark Hymn. "What do you got up there?" "Right now, there's a lot of Sponge-Minions, though I haven't seen any lizards coming in yet," CP said. "I wouldn't waste too much ammo nailing them. The Lizards are just trying to piss us off before they come in." "My thoughts exactly." "Keep a few warm for us. We'll be there in a couple." Almost immediately after the connection closed, a new one opened. "Admiral, my scouts are picking up what appear to be BMWs coming in to support the infantry," Captain T'larn said. "Are they really BMWs?" I asked, thinking Oh God, not again... "These are smaller and much lighter in weight than any BMW." Oh good. Let's see what they've got. "The honor of the first engagement is yours," I said in my best Worf impression (which was decent). "Your discretion, your optimal range." "Thanks. We won't let you down. T'larn out." It was then that I got my first look at the Spongin hordes opposing us. Almost the whole field was covered with lavender-suited Sponges, with a few small mecha shaped like the Triad of Evil bounding about raining fire into the marine ranks. A B'Hee J Bot came down from a jump, sword scattering a group of battlearmored troopers. You may be good, but I doubt if you're invincible. Opening up the general net at the same time as I switched to Mecha mode, I said, "All units: The time has come to eat hamburgers and kick ass!" "I hate to break this to you," Aruba said, "but we don't have any burgers." "My point exactly. Those with ammo weapons: Short controlled bursts. Now let's engage!" # Down By Law "Punk Won" _punkrockacademyfightsong_ I trained my 55mm autorifle on a clump of Spongins, cutting them down with a frugally short burst. The others raced around me and launched their bikes into the air. The bikes then proceeded to wrap themselves around their riders, coming down as seven-foot micro-Mechs. Don and Tim launched their entire load of fragmentation mini-missiles into the horde, completely annihilating an entire company of Sponges. Aruba and Joker unsheathed their CADS swords as they began to perform martial dissection on their Sponge cultists. Max poured laser fire into a Jello Beast and its retinue, while Dan was bouncing around and smacking Spongies upside their heads with his Mallet. P-Chan basically wreaked havoc, using martial arts moves, forearm snap-blades, and her rocket launcher in a mezmerizing display of mass destruction. Then I saw the Mech Star come in on the B'Harnate flanks. The Pirhanas raced forward, machine-guns decimating whole platoons in an eyeblink. Mongoose also charged in, seeking to devastate a few B'Harne Bots. With those beam sabers of his, it'd be easy. Riko said over the general net, "These bots are easy to kill!" as autocannon and pulse laser fire shredded a B'Haby B'Hop Bot. I was so engrossed in all of this that I didn't notice a B'Hee J bot coming down on me with its sword. I started plugging away, apparently a second too late before the Bot simply blew apart in midair. Wreckage fragments rained down around me as I looked upon my autorifle with new-found reverent awe. Normally, 55m autorifles don't kill mecha outright. "Over here, J," Zumi said over the radio. I looked up to see her Summoner standing there, smoke rising from her autocannon bearing the legend "Do not taunt Clan Happy Fun Ball." I made the Bahamode throw her a salute as I searched for something new to kill. Suddenly, a Jello Sponge filled my sight and threw a punch at me. A resounding CLANG shook the Bahamode as the damage report showed a slight armor reduction. The Sponge was about to swing again when a harpoon stuck into its neck. And then I heard a familiar voice over an external speaker: "GET OVER HERE!" Tim reeled in the Sponge and put about five shots into it from his EP-40. "Thanks, Tim!" I said as he pulled his weapon free. "No problem," he replied as another Spongin came up to him. "Nice spongie... good spongie.. Have some lead," I said as 55m explosive slugs tore it apart. "You stole my kill!" Tim said. "There's plenty to go around," I replied. "Deal." Just then, the roar of turbines and a stream of laser bolts prompted the two of us to dive aside as B'Harnate Luv fighters began their strafing runs. "Mongoose!" I shouted into the radio. "They've got fighters! We could use some help!" "On it," he said. "And next time, warn me before you try to make me deaf." Even with the Tetsu's help, the fighters would still overwhelm us in time. Time to buy us some. Grabbing the nearest Sponge I could find, I said over the external speaker, "Hey, froggy baby! You're going for a little ride." And with that, I lit the Bahamode's flight thrusters and soared off into the sky to look for the impudent fighter who shot at me. As it swung around for a second pass, I dropped the writhing Spongin into the plane's path while flying up out of its fire arc. My timing was perfect, as the Spongin got sucked into the fighter's jet intake, sending the plane into a unrecoverable stall. CyberPyro's voice said over the commlink, "The blizzard's suppposed to hit any minute! What are you doing airborne?" Already the Sponge-planes were turning tail and heading towards their own lines. From the looks of it, it had nothing to do with Mongoose snickersnacking a few of their number down. "Putting some garbage in the can," I replied, settling back down to earth just as the snowfall intensified. Goose followed my lead, putting down next to the other Mechs. Somehow, through all the snowfall, I could still make out the forms of the mock Bimmers. And they were advancing steadily towards our position. "This," I said sourly, "is gonna suck. Hard." To be continued... All material copyrighted by the original author.