Operation: Phoenix, Battle of the Blockbuster, Part 2 by Warrior Ashur Galand, steve_scott@mail.utexas.edu =================================== Battle of the Blockbuster, Part 2 =================================== Galand strode to face the Spam Monster, and suddenly had a thought. He whipped out his Jihadlinker, and issued some standing orders in case of his sudden demise or incapacity. He finished the orders list, and was about to add one more thing when the 'linker began to spark and fizzle in his hands, short-circuited by a blast of nonsense from the Spam Monster. The connection to JihadNet was broken, and the screen flashed advertisements, get rich quick schemes, and just general bulldada nonsense. Galand put it away with disgust, and dashed into the store. Grabbing his backpack, he dragged it outside with him and reached inside for his latest toy...the FIST Gun. (Fries/Frags Insipid Sponges Totally). Slipping the superweave alloy weapon over his hand and forearm, he thought about why he didn't just "wish" things away with his powers...he could do it, certainly...but it wouldn't be as fun, and besides..when he went all out with his Q powers, he tended to "overdo" things. A large smoking crater on the surface of the sponge baseworld LuvWurld could attest to that quite well. He stepped back outside the store and faced the monstrosity. "All right, Spamboy..." growled Galand as he primed the FISTGun, "Let's rock!" The creature roared a response...it was more than ready to fight him. Galand nodded, accepting the challenge. He made sure a few imploder rounds were loaded into the FISTGun, and popped off two at the towering mass of mystery meat. One shot went wide, and collapsed a portion of the parking lot. The other slammed straight into the monster's meaty chest. The beast looked down in surprise, and groaned as the imploder round went off, first imploding then exploding the surrounding matter, and blowing a nice big hole in the Spam Monster. The beast staggered, stumbled, and fell, crushing police cars and the like in the street. Galand smiled. "Nice field test," he muttered. He then thought it would be best to get to WEDJEE HQ as soon as possible. Turning towards his car, he stopped in shock. Remember the stray imploder round that blew up a goodly portion of the parking lot? Guess which portion it hit. The front half of Galand's bright yellow Plymouth hatchback sat serenely, as if nothing had happened to the rest of the car. The back half was little more than bits of smoking scrap metal. [There goes the warranty...] he thought, and started trudging down the road. The thought didn't occur to him that he could just teleport there, but he was tired. So tired in fact, that he didn't hear the low growl rising from the meaty body in the road, nor did he sense the alien presence creeping up behind him. Just then a forest green Neon drove up, screeching around the 1-foot potholes in the parking lot. The driver's door opened, and Michelle popped her head out. "'Chelle?? What the smegging hell are you DOING here?" "I'm not leaving you alone...I want to know what the fuck is going on, Stephen!" "Okay...I'll explain everything. Let me just call off the reinforcements." He dug out his Jihadlinker and powered it up. The diagnostics checked out okay, then the main menu popped up. Galand had just begun his transmission when suddenly the 'Linker let out an electronic *screech* and died again. Galand looked towards the collapsed Spam Monster. It moved. He turned back towards Michelle, "Oh, sneck..." Galand tossed the Particle Beam Rifle to her. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" she yelled over the noise of the monster's reawakening. "Simple...hold rifle, point rifle, pull trigger," he shouted back. "Just make sure you're aiming at that thing!" And with that, he pumped a furious stream of ionized plasma at the creature from the top barrel of the FIST Gun, while Michelle figured out the controls and started blasting away with the PBR. The Spam Monster staggered under the assault, seemed to rally for a second, then quite noisily exploded, shooting flaming chunks of mystery meat everywhere. "Good work, sis." said Galand as he ducked a rather large spam-chunk. His back was turned to the K-Mart next to the Blockbuster, so he didn't see or hear the stealthy approach of the hulking alien lizards behind him. Michelle did though. As the first lizard took aim and fired, she yelled a warning and threw both of them to the ground. "SHIT!" Yelled Galand as he clicked the triggers on the FIST Gun. It was empty. A blinking red light on the PBR indicated it was spent as well. "You still got that pistol I gave you, sis?" 'Chelle pulled it out of her pocket and took off the safety. Affecting a jive tone to her voice, she yelled, "Let's rock on, muthafucka!" And fired at the first lizard in sight. He laughed, a deep throaty rasping noise...until Galand appeared out of nowhere behind him and chopped off his head with the DarkSword. Needless to say, all Hell broke loose for the second time that day as all of the Lizards opened fire. Galand and his "sister" dodged all the fire, giving back as good as they got. Michelle got their attention with the blaster, keeping them occupied, whilst Galand swept thru their ranks like a scythe, cutting down one after another. A big one gave him a problem, however. The lizard growled in a hissing, raspy voice, "So...you are the one we seek. You fight well, Honored Warrior, but not well enough." Galand sighed. "Y'know...I really *hate* it when my opponents beat their chests in battle...why don't we just skip the foreplay and get down to it, shall we?" The lizard seemed to consider. "I know not this 'foreplay' but I am more than ready to fight you...and defeat you and your companion." With that, he charged, claws out and at the ready. Galand noticed the razor-sharp claws and gave them a wide berth. He then lunged back in, swinging the DarkSword in an arc. The lizard avoided the brunt of the blow, suffering only a long shallow cut to the shoulder. Blue-green phosporescence seeped out of the wound. The lizard and Galand circled around each other, each searching for a weakness. "Why are you after me?" Galand asked. "I've never seen your species before...never done anything to you." "Why do we not trade information?" replied the lizard. "If you win this battle, I will explain. If I win, you will give me the tactical strengths and weaknesses of you Jihad. Do we have a deal?" "How do I know you'll keep your word?" "My word is my honor." replied the lizard. "To insult my word is to insult my honor, and for that I will kill you...slowly." "Very well...I accept your deal. Tell your troops to keep back until we finish." The lizard hissed something in his own language, and the remainder of the squad formed a battle circle around the pair, with Michelle wedged in, watching the action. One of their number tossed the big lizard a wicked-looking sword with a serrated edge. It glistened in the dying evening light. "Let's dance," murmured Galand as he feinted to the right, drawing the lizard off-guard, and then swung back to the left. The DarkSword sang thru the air, cutting a deep but short slash on the lizard's abdomen. The lizard fell back, then snarled and leaped forward, claws extended. Slashing its claws downward, it tore across Galand's chest, opening a set of gouges. Galand felt a numbness start in the wounds. [Poison!] he thought. [I've gotta be more careful than this...best defense is good offense.] Setting his natural systems to clearing the toxin from his body, he went back on the attack, slashing furiously. His sword and the lizard's clashed and clanged together. In the distance, sires could be heard approaching the store. Galand ignored it, and pressed his advantage as the lizard staggered under the assault. The lizard fell on its back, then raised its legs up and pushed Galand backwards with a powerful shove of its legs. Galand staggered, windless, then recovered and went on the defensive, blocking the lizard's fierce blows. Desperate, he used his powers and willed himself intangible, slipping past the lizard. As he passed thru, he felt a slight drag, as if the lizard's body resisted letting his out-of-phase state through. [Resistance? Is that supposed to happen??] Galand thought, shocked. All the same, he popped up behind the lizard and phased back in, stabbing with all his force into the alien's back. The sword resisted, but soon slid thru like butter. The lizard fell back, coughing up globs of blue-green blood. "You have won," it hissed. "Very well *COUGH* I will tell you. We are the X'Hirjq, and we have been tasked by Lord Barney to destroy the Jihad. Before the main invasion begins however, we were tasked to kill several members of the Jihad." Galand stared in shock. "Who else, besides me?" He listened as the fallen X'Hirjq rattled off a series of names, and his eyes grew wider with every name mentioned. "You cannot possibly win, Warrior Galand...we are too strong..." The lizard coughed wrackingly, then hissed in a weak voice, a deathrattle in its throat. "We are...everywhere..." It then died. Another X'Hirjq stepped foward and crushed a small crystal on the fallen one's uniform. The dead X'hirjq glowed briefly for a second, then dissolved into a fine gray ash. "Commander X'hqisss is dead. I, SubCommander X'Qraiss now lead. You fought honorably, and so you shall die honorably in battle. I give you 15 of your Earth seconds before we attack." Galand grabbed Michelle and started backing towards her car. "Let's get the hell outta Dodge, sis." "No fucking way, Stephen! You heard that fucking beast...they want to take over Earth...I'm not going to stand by and let them do it. You do what you want to...I'm staying, and that's all there is to it!" Galand shrugged. It wouldn't be the first argument started, nor the first he'd lost..."Okay...let's kick their asses!" And with that, he charged forward again, sword flashing in a deadly arc. Michelle covered him with fire from the blaster, hitting the lizard's unprotected heads with surprising accuracy. There were only a few left, but one got off a lucky shot, and struck Michelle in the chest with its plasma rifle. She screamed out once, then fell to the ground, unconscious. Galand finished hacking the head off the nearest X'hirjq, then ran to her. Seeing that she was still alive, but badly hurt, he called for medevac...she would die if not tended to soon, and he was afraid to attempt healing her...it might do more harm than good, as unexperienced in his powers as he was. The X'Hirjq soldiers waited...the Warrior could not hide behind that primitive Earth vehicle forever, and they would not shoot him through it like cowards. They waited, their weapons silent. A low hum began to fill the air. Spectators inside the store took one look at what was happening to that nice young clerk who only minutes before had killed a bunch of alien creatures, and took off running. A bright red glow was reflected in what little glass remained in the store's windows. Galand rose up slowly from behind the car, eyes literally ablaze with an insane, hellish light....the light of pure power, tightly controlled, but ready to be unleashed. His form glowed a bright yellow now, and the color kept rising up thru the spectrum until it reached a blinding white. A low growl started in his throat as he stared at the X'Hirjq soldiers, who were beginning to have doubts about how easy this target was. The growl also rose in pitch and intensity with the glow and the hum, until a single soul-ripping scream emerged. "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Every window within one mile instantaneoudly shattered at that scream, which echoed from Waco all the way to San Marcos. At the same time, Galand began to blaze with an aura of pure force, power, and anger. The aura expanded until finally it exploded, sending shockwaves in every direction. The X'Hirjq didn't even have time to pray to the Fanged God. They exploded forcefully as the wavefront hit them, leaving a half-dozen smoking craters where they stood. Miraculously, Michelle, her car, and the surrounding buildings, people, and vehicles were untouched, aside from having all their glass shattered out. Galand crumpled to the ground, his energy and will spent... ****DISCONTINUITY**** Galand awoke to find a DobEmp Medic kneeling over him, running a medscanner over his vitals. Sitting up slowly, he could see Michelle being loaded on a gurney into an airvan. "She'll be okay, sir." said the Medic, smiling as she put away her equipment. "And so will you. But I recommend rest for you...I don't know what you did, but it totally exhausted you." "Help me to my feet, Trooper." She did, and Galand surveyed the area around him. Six still-smoking craters, with blue-green smears around them, flash-dried into the concrete. The store, and the bank next door were spattered with viscous X'Hirjq blood and gobbets of grayish flesh. "I guess I lost my temper..." Galand murmured, awed at the devastation he had created. If he could harness his power fully... Galand stepped away from the medic. "Sir!" she protested. "You're weak, you must rest!" Galand looked at the medic with a knowing, grim smile. "No rest for the weary, Trooper." And with that, he homed in on his destination, and stepped into nothing, vanishing. ******* The Q Continuum, Everytime Everywhere. ---------------- Galand stood in a large hall, a stable isle in a place that was constantly shifting. Outside the hall, energy patterns swirled, Galaxies were born and died, and whole Universes aged from infancy to old age in the space of a few minutes. On the sides of the arena-style hall, tiers of seats rose into Infinity. Galand drew in a deep breath, preparing himself. He knew why he was here, and what he had to say to achieve that goal. "Q!" he called, his voice echoing in the vast chamber. "I know you're here...I want to speak with you!" He waited, and go no reply. Re-opening his portal, he turned to leave, but was stopped by a smug laugh from behind him. "Well, well, well...if it isn't the prodigal son, returned for what? Forgiveness? Acceptance? Or something more?" Galand shut the portal, and turned around slowly. Leaning against the short wall in front of the seats stood a dark-haired "man" in a spiffy red and black uniform, with four pips at the collar. Galand smirked and said, "You're still wearing that uniform? Why? I don't see any passing starships around!" Q smiled, and said, "Because, my dear boy...you interrupted me. I was in the middle of a rather engaging conversation with a ship's captain when you called me." Stepping closer, his face assumed a more serious mask. "Now...why are you here?" Galand took another breath to steady himself, and plunged on in. "You once said that if I only had the proper training, I could be almost as powerful as a full Q." Q nodded, and gestured for Galand to continue. "Well...for reasons of my own, I'm now asking. I want you to help me harness these powers, Q. I could've almost destroyed my hometown today." "Why didn't you? It's such a dreary place." Q said loftily, waving his hand. "I'M NOT HERE FOR GAMES, Q!" Galand shouted, his ire rising again. Q looked startled, then motioned for Galand to continue. "As I said, I want you to teach me." "Teach you what, my dear boy?" Q asked, an interested look on his face. Galand grimly replied, "Everything..." **Thus concludes the Battle of the Blockbuster, but the story continues. Will Galand succumb to the lure of total power? Will he become a total nitwit-arsehole like his mentor, Q? And what about the war back home? Will he return in time to make a difference, and how will he do it? Find out in, "Operation Phoenix: Education and Homecoming!" Copyright notice: "Battle of the Blockbuster, Part TWO" is the copyrighted property of Stephen D. Scott and the Jihad to Destroy Barney. "Q" is used with apologies to and without permission from Paramount Studios. (c)1995, Stephen D. Scott and the Jihad to Destroy Barney.