Operation: Pacifica, Beachhead



 Trooper Phaedrus ran in and out of the hovercraft cargo hold,
  transporting the "buzzbombs," as Samhain had called them, out to the beach
  where he was setting them up on long planks of wood.  He was grinning ear to
  ear, loving the new batch of toys he got to play with.



...




 Trooper Nimitz watched Phaedrus from the next hovercraft down the
  beach as he scurried back and forth from his hovercraft to the beach and
  back again.  He had no idea what the fool was up to, and was seriously
  beginning to wonder if he'd gone completely schizo.  Being left to defend
  the Jihaddi beachhead wasn't exactly the most exciting and glorious task to
  be had, but it was, after all, still an important one.  Sitting and waiting
  still had its ways of driving people crazy.  "What do you think he's doing?"
  he asked Lieutenant Humphrey, who had also been left aboard.


 "Sir, I honestly have no idea.  And I'm not sure I really want to,"
  she replied.



...


 Phaedrus set the pair of buzzbombs on their makeshift launch pad,
  their purple and green paint contrasting sharply with the yellows of the
  beach.  He only had a couple more to grab and bring out, so he paused to
  survey his work so far.  "Well done!" he remarked to himself.  "Now all I
  need is some spongies to test these on..." he grinned.


 No sooner had he made the inane request for spongies to test his
  weapons of mass stupidity on than hundreds of them started climbing over the
  sandy berm slightly inland from where the hovercraft were beached.


 "YES!" he exclaimed, pumping his arm excitedly.



...




 Nimitz had somehow managed to distract himself from Phaedrus'
  lunacy and was doing as he was supposed to... he was scanning the area with
  his binoculars.  Half of him was hoping to see some spongies show up so he'd
  have something to do, while the other half dreaded whatever horrors they
  might bring with them.  "Guard duty sucks," he proclaimed to no one in
  particular.  Just then, he saw the purple and green pajamas of spongin
  headed for the beach.  "Oh, joy.  Spongies..."



...


 Phaedrus hit the launch button on the first buzzbomb and watched,
  fascinated, as it surged upwards in the air.  Its bizarre pulsejet engine
  fired once with a loud "PHUTT!" It paused for a split second, then surged
  forwards again.  It arced upwards, little puffs of exhaust pockmarking the
  air behind it with each "PHUTT!" of the strange propulsion system that would
  inevitably shake it to pieces.


 *PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT-PHUTT!* went
  the ballistic weapon as it traced its path towards the spongin, then at long
  last fell silent and descended once again towards earth.



...




 "Look!  A gift from B'harni!" cried a sponge as he ran to try and
  catch the odd-sounding purple and green projectile.  "Maybe the jihaddi
  aren't so bad..."


 Just then, the buzzer hit the ground, well out of the spongie's
  reach, but unfortunately not close enough to harm him, either.


 *BOOOOOOOM!*


 "oooooh... We better catch 'em all!  They explode when they hit the
  ground!"


...




 Phaedrus ran down the row of rockets ready for launch, sending one
  after another on its way towards the spongin lines.



...




        *BOOOOOOOM!*


 A once-upon-a-time spongie, who had miraculously managed to get her
  hands on the buzzbomb falling from it's less than excessive maximum
  altitude, howled in pain as she grabbed it.  Her scream disappeared into the
  sound of the explosion, and at long last her comrades finally started to
  realize what was going on.


 The result was incredibly predictable.  Spongin up and down the
  beach jumped and scattered, running back and forth on the beach.  Some,
  watching where the bombs were going, ran smack into each other.  Others that
  still hadn't quite realized what was happening tripped over their comrades
  that had run into eachother and fallen in a tangle of arms and legs in their
  haste to try and catch the projectile "gifts."


...




 "I'll be damned..." thought Nimitz aloud.  He wandered over and
  stood behind the .50 caliber machine guns and walked their explosions along
  the edge of the beach.  As a spongin stood and started to run, Nimitz
  gunfire was there.  When two spongin collided, a well-placed cannon shot
  took them both down simultaneously.  Spongin bodies and guts flew everywhere
  up and down the beach as other Jihaddi discovered identical boxes in their
  cargo holds and manned their machine guns.


 "Just like shootin' ducks at a carnie!" cackled Nimitz as he mowed
  down a line of 5 more spongin.



...




 Before long, there weren't any spongies left on the beach except
  the dead kind.  Jihaddi stretched and relaxed a bit, but were somewhat
  disappointed by the speed and ease of the battle.  They shouldn't have taken
  it quite so easy.



...


 "Great Grimace!" screamed Lieutenant Humphrey from the back of the
  hovercraft.  Nimitz turned around to see a huge, purple worm towering above
  the back of the hovercraft and eyeing the hapless lieutenant.  "Humphrey!
  Get down!" he yelled.  Humphrey did as instructed, hitting the deck as
  quickly as possible.  Nimitz swivelled the machine gun around and blasted
  the thing's head, plucking out the red sensing-organs on its head.


 Up and down the beach, the story was similar--Saethrians were
  emerging from the sea to attack the beached hovercraft.


 Thinking quickly, Humphrey stood back up and ran to the depth
  charge launcher.  After rapidly setting the depth on the charges to zero,
  she started repeatedly launching the charges out into the bay.  Each charge
  detonated the instant it hit the water, sending miniature geysers of water
  high into the air.  In some cases, the charge would also send a spray of
  nagenta armor and gore with it after it completely obliterating the body of
  a Saethrian.



...




 Phaedrus ran back into the hold to grab the last of his buzzbombs.
  Holding one in each hand, he turned around to head back out through the
  cargo doors, hoping to be prepared in the event any sponge was foolish
  enough to try again.  This trip, though, instead of finding a wide open bay
  door he found a large, purple worm.  He froze in place, unsure what to do as
  the creature came forward towards him, brandishing various archaic weapons
  in its tentacle-claws.  Phaedrus suddenly grinned broadly, an idea taking
  form.


 "Here, wormy-wormy!  Nice worm food!"  he said, waving a buzzbomb
  at the Saethrian.  As gunfire began to sound once again outside the
  hovercraft, the beast let out an unearthly roar.  Phaedrus took advantage of
  the opportunity and tossed the bomb into its mouth, then pressed the launch
  button.  The Saethrian's expression changed almost as completely as it
  possibly could.   Its rage turned into confusion, rotating its huge head on
  its axis to eye its prey quizzically.  It murmured slightly, as if to ask,
  "What did I just eat?"  Its body began to quivver and shake as convulsions
  wracked its body from the inside.  Suddenly, the vibrations stopped.


...




 The battle on the beach came to an abrupt halt as the Saethrians
  retreated on their wings.  A few were dropped from the sky with parting
  shots from the Jihaddi .50 caliber guns, but most that attempted to flee
  succeeded in doing so.  There was a brief celebration among those present.
  A few of them had died in the defense, but the beachhead was intact.


 Nimitz turned his attention to his neighbor once more, wondering
  what had become of the nutso with the buzzbombs.  Noting the scorpion-tail
  hanging out of the cargo bay.  A muffled explosion was audible through the
  oddly still air of the beach from the direction of the neighboring
  hovercraft.  "Oh... no..." he thought.  As he gazed, horror-stricken, upon
  the sight, a figure completely coated in purpleish goo crawled its way out
  of the hovercraft and proceeded to dance an odd jig around the tail of the
  massive tube-beast.


 Nimitz couldn't help but roll on the deck, laughing until his sides
  hurt and eyes welled with tears.




"Beachhead"
Copyright 1996
David R. Hibbs