Operation Pacifica: And The Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place by Admiral J-Rock, aka Slider the Feral (NYAR!) "Quit whining you haven't done anything wrong. Because frankly, you haven't done much of anything... Someone's writing down your mistakes. Someone's documenting your downfall" - Nicole Blackman with KMFDM, "Dogma" "Next time you kill somebody, make sure they're not the BADDEST motherf**ker in the universe." - Voodoo Ben, SCUD: THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN #13 SPONGIN CITY FOUND ON PACIFICA ISLAND, 1345 HRS. ISLAND TIME DAY TEN OF OPERATION PACIFICA J-Rock awoke slowly, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. The pain that had coursed through his body only minutes before now was replaced by a dull throb in his forehead. Idly, his right hand moved up to massage it. And that was when he felt them for the first time, lightly scraping against his head in places where his fingers didn't reach. He opened his eyes and peered at his hands. There, seemingly coming out of the tips of his fingers, were some long razor-sharp claws. They were held on by a thin leather glove, but that did not make that sight any less unsettling. "Wot da sneck?" he asked under his breath. Then a voice echoed in his head as he looked up to regard Windigo in the heat of Holy WarpSpasm (tm). [Don't you have something you should be doing right now?] it asked. Meanwhile, the Lost Viqueen was still there, cowering behind the ranks and ordering some Sponge-Minions to bring up a plasma pulse automatic weapon (equivalent to a heavy machine gun) to be used on Windi. "Rage," grunted J-Rock as he got to his feet, teeth clenched in a menacing snarl. "F**KIN' RAGE!!!" # KMFDM "Beast" _Nihil_ J-Rock gave rise to the famed Maenad war-cry as he charged for the gun crew, Big Ass Claws (tm) flashing. A M.E.N.S.A. Clanner brought his M-16 to bear, but J-R plugged the barrel with a Claw'd finger before he could pull the trigger. The resulting backblast blew off the saurian's right arm and lacerated him in a dozen places all over his right side. Oddly enough, J-R was unharmed in the small explosion. He plunged his free hand into the Clanner's underbelly, and moved the claws up swiftly. Blood flowed freely from the wounds as J-R took his finger from the useless assault rifle and flicked the Clanner's taped glasses into his other hand. The M.E.N.S.A. Clanner thrust his head toward his attacker, mouth open as it prepared to bite a large chunk off of him. J-Rock twisted the embedded Claws (tm) once and withdrew them, causing the blood to flow much faster. It also served to make the saurian clutch his wounded abdomen, all thoughts of biting forgotten. J-Rock took the glasses in both hands and plunged the earpieces firmly into the Clanner's eyes, driving them through the optic nerve into the brain. The saurian spasmed once and collapsed as J-R shouted, "In da kingdom uv da blind, da two-eyed Maenad is God!" ... The Lost Viqueen couldn't believe it. His troops' get-up-and-go got up and left in the face of the Maenads' furious assault. Those Sponge- Minions that were not already dead were running like sissies, seeking to avoid the messy death that surely awaited them. Only the BJ-hadar at his disposal stayed, and even they were rattled as burst after burst missed the Tasmanian Devileqsue whirlwinds of blood and claws that were Windi and J- Rock. The Viqueen brought his anti-armor rifle to bear on J-Rock, saying, "You will not evade Hela's clutches a second time, Barney-hating fool. JUSTICE IS--" He would have completed the sentence, but he was rudely interrupted by the rifle's barrel exploding before his eyes, going from weapon to junk in 0.6 seconds. "WHAT?!" the Viqueen shouted as he looked for the impudent who had shot away his weapon. "FEAR ME!!!" Sheridan Iscarius shouted above the din of battle, with a bolt pistol smoking in his hand. "YOU MOOSE-MOUNTING SWINE, I COMMAND YOU TO FEAR ME!!" Behind him, the Chosen of Khorne stood in a line behind their commander, chainaxes at the ready. The Lost Viqueen turned the moose he was riding on toward the Chosen, taking a brief glance at the sky as he did so. He grinned a wicked little grin and said, "Fear this." Two Saethrians roared as they dove down upon Sheridan and the Chosen, spears couched like lances as they charged. Sheridan took to the sky to greet one, blowing the tentacle aiming the spear off at the wing as he kicked the point away. ... J-Rock turned towards the moose-rider, who was sitting back and taking the view in. J-Rock wanted to break off an antler and shove it up the Viqueen's ass. Sideways, if it'd fit. Then, he would start getting rough. Before he could do that, a presence brushed against his mind. That presence sent, [o/~ I luv you... o/~] 'Oh, no. Forget that stuff,' thought J-R in a near flawless imitation of Ren Hoek. The crackling sound that came from his left immediately reminded J- Rock that replying to a Jello Beast's mental ping was a Bad Idea. He jumped back, barely avoiding the fhuge plasma bolt that came through the area where he once stood. "Where ya at, ya blobby bastard?!" he growled as his eyes swept the terrain features, looking for the Beast. # Stan Bush "Dare" _"Transformers: The Movie" soundtrack_ [o/~ I luv you... o/~] 'AAAACK!! Shut up!' J-R thought back. [o/~ You luv me... o/~] 'You feelthy swine!' From out of nowhere, twin tentacles of purple gelatinous disaster flew toward J-Rock's flank. One hit the small of his back, and the other rammed into the back of his knee, buckling it before wrapping around his ankle. His mind raced. He had never faced a Jello Beast without having some kind of battlearmor or mecha before. Needless to say, J-R gained some measure of respect for its ability to strike without warning as the Jello Beast pulled him towards it, dropping him to the ground. J-R rolled over on his back and began to saw away at the tentacle that had ensnared him. A psychic scream resounded in his mind as he cut himself free, leaving the little bit of grasping tentacle to lie there with smoke rising from the incision. "Yer not singin' now, are ya?" he asked as he sprung to his feet and ran at full speed towards the blob. However, as he neared the Beast, he broke off at an angle and swung a claw at full force into the mushy menace. Four chunks of jello fell off as the Jello Beast bellowed yet again. Tentacles reached out from everywhere towards J-Rock, seeking to entangle wrists and ankles. To his credit, J-R moved like a man possessed, slicing away at tentacles when they got too close while trying to run out of their range. He almost made it before a tentacle wrapped itself around his neck, slowing him down for just a second as another one struck him firmly in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Two more tentacles ensnared his wrists, keeping Da Big Ass Claws (tm) at bay as the Jello Beast held him out to where its face might be. As yet another tentacle emerged, the Beast sent, [Open your mind to me.. before I peel your psyche like a ripe fruit!] J-R was already beginning to to gasp like a spent fish from the blow to his midsection. However, he shut his mouth as the tentacle approached, all too aware of what would happen if it got inside him. The Beast responded by tightening its grip on his throat, and black spots began to dance at the edges of J-R's vision. He opened his mouth slightly, doing anything to get the oxygen his body craved so desperately. Unfortunately, that was all the Jello Beast needed as it slipped its free tentacle into his mouth. [Quit squirming,] it sent. [It will soon be over..] He could already feel some of his individuality being stripped away by the insistent force of the Beast's mind-destroying attack. 'No!' he thought, clenching his jaw as if to clench his teeth, were the tentacle not in the way. And then he tasted grape jello in his mouth, as the tentacle began to yield to the pressure his teeth exerted on it. [What are you doing?] the Beast sent in a pained mental voice before it dissolved in a scream. At the same moment, J-Rock bit through the tentacle cleanly and started to chew the portion in his mouth. The Beast spasmed, easing the pressure on his arms just a bit. That was all that was needed, as it allowed him to scratch the tentacles with his Claws (tm) and make them retreat from him. He grabbed the tentacle on his neck with one hand and brought it to his mouth as he grabbed the one that had been recently bitten through in the other. The Jello Beast's screams increased in intensity as J-R bit through the tentacle on his neck. He then switched to the other tentacle and took a bite of it. He continued in this manner, slowly but surely eating the Jello Beast alive as he worked his way toward the center of the mass. [Impossible!] sent the Beast. [How could you bite through that tentacle?] "*smack* I wish *chomp* I knew *chew*," J-Rock said in between bites. At length, he worked his way to the center of the blob and proceeded to scoop handfuls of the mass into his mouth. The dying screams of the Jello Beast were in fact egging him on as he ate. 'You tried to take over me,' he thought. 'You will not do this again, not to me or anyone else! You have made your last Puddin' Sponge attempt!' At last, he could eat no more. By that time, there was hardly anything left of the Jello Beast to eat. As for the Beast itself, consciousness had ceased a minute ago. "Nuffink to it," he sighed. "Dere's alwayz room fer Jello." About this time, he saw that the pulse automatic weapon was almost ready to fire. J-R got up, grinning a demonic grin on the scale of one of Sheridan's as he shouted, "Ya wanna peece uv me? I won't 'urt ya.. much." And with that, he launched himself at the gun crew with a guttural "NYAR!!" # Nitzer Ebb "Join In the Chant" _That Total Age_ The Sponge-Minion crew threw their hands in the air and fled, their pants legs trailing urine as they ran for the hills. The Wyrm-Minion in charge of the crew reached back to grab them, only to give J-Rock the opening he needed. The last thing the commander felt was Big Ass Claws (tm) entering his neck and abdomen. To add further insult to injury, J-Rock ripped the Minion in half at the waist, producing a shower of gore before the pieces were tossed down. J-Rock then grabbed the plasma support weapon and trained it on the Saethrian that was making life difficult for the Chosen of Khorne. As it soared into the sky for another pass, he mashed the triggers down, yelling "VENGEANCE IS MINE, SAITH THE LORD!!" The Saethrian wound itself into a sine wave under the force of the plasma pulses and exploded a few seconds later. The Viqueen saw the exploding Saethrian and immediately turned his war moose toward the support weapon, saying "Forward, Tor!" as it accelerated into a charge. He did not want for courage, that was for certain. "Dis is too sneckin' easy," J-R muttered as he lined up on the war moose. "Ya didn't learn anyfing from da lotz an' lotz uv yearz ago, did ya?" He fired a frugally short burst at the moose, dropping it to the ground and sending the Lost Viqueen flying over the antlers to land none too gently on the ground below. "Yeah!" J-R shouted. "Ya wanted yer lootfisk, and we're gonna beat it!" A few seconds later, BlackBlood the Feral (NYAR!) came onto the scene near the unconscious Viqueen. "Zog off!" J-Rock said as he got up from his position. "'E's mine!" "Thinking we can question him, I am," Windigo said as she rested a hand on J-R's shoulder. "Also wondering why you talk funny, I am." "Well, Windee," he replied with a hint of a smile, "wot da zoggin' 'eck were ya ekspektin' from a noo Maenad? Oshtun-talk?" "Wondering what a redcap is doing here, I am," BlackBlood responded a second later. "Redcap?" J-R asked. BlackBlood led him to a small fountain and pointed inside. "Why iz it alwayz reflektin' poolz?" he asked under his breath as he looked inside. Heightwise, J-R was the same. The biggest physical change was in his musculature. He swore he must have put on 10 pounds of it in the transformation. But that was not what held his attention. His skin had turned to a dull gray color, almost to the point of being mottled. Small 2- inch projections also had grown straight out of his elbows, in line with the lower arm bones. The backhand plating of the Claws (tm) was wrapped with sections of barbed wire. His lips had changed colors as well, becoming a deep black. The eyes were also sharper, more menacing. Looking toward his hair, he found that it had changed as well, having suddenly grown straight up into a style like some character on Dragonball Z. The color had also changed to a bright red, the color of fresh blood. The whole effect was a seamless fusion of devastatingly handsome and inhuman otherworldliness, a combination that only a few anime character designers could do justice to (in this writer's opinion). "My Gawd," J-R said. "_What_ am I?" "I have heard stories of the redcaps," BlackBlood continued. "They are extremely tenacious and great intimidators. They can also eat _anything._" "So, if I kin get my teef around it, I kin eat it?" J-R asked. BlackBlood nodded. "Rool," J-R replied, turning toward the other Maenads. "Dat eksplainz da Jello Beest." "If he's a Maenad," Sheridan said, "he needs a name." Windigo strode forward and placed both hands on J-R's shoulders. "Slider," she said. The other Maenads began to place their hands on his shoulders as well, accepting him into their company. "Now dat I'm identified," Slider said, "let'z find out where dose skumbos are keepin' our peepul." To be continued in "A Spider In The Web"...