Operation Pacifica: Falling Toward Apotheosis by Slider the Feral (NYAR!), aka Admiral J-Rock, TRES Corps "I expected this but not quite yet." -- Anonymous tombstone PLACE UNKNOWN DAY TEN OF OPERATION PACIFICA J-Rock stirred slowly. 'That nap really helped,' he thought as he stretched out his arms. Indeed it had. J-R couldn't recall feeling this refreshed since the Turning Point Battles of Operation Phoenix. Then, he opened his eyes, gawking at what he saw. "Toto," he mumbled, "I don't think we're on Pacifica anymore.." It was a room that was painted blinding white. White walls. White floor. Hell, even the small bench he was sleeping on was white. He looked down at himself. The rents in his soft-suit were still there, including a large hole in the chest. Oddly enough, the skin underneath was undamaged. Suddenly, a door on the far side of the room opened, admitting a woman with hair so black, you could hear the color if you listened closely enough. Her skin was the color of white marble, and her clothes (jeans, boots, and a halter top) were the same color as her hair. A silver ankh pendant completed the ensemble. J-R started to say, "How's it hanging.. Death?" before his sanity proceeded to beat that part of his mind into a pulp. *I doubt if such a interrogative applies, now that we all know Death is female,* it chided. "Well, well, well," Death noted. "A Jihaddi. I don't see much of your kind around here. Some time back, one of yours told me to get stuffed and vanished into the astral plane. I believe his name was Samhain... but I'm getting ahead of myself. After all, he's not the one who's dead." "And Cadmus?" "So much tragedy in so little time. Lost his girlfriend to a Spongin bomb. But hey, that _was_ life." ... SPONGIN CITY FOUND ON PACIFICA ISLAND, 1322 HRS. ISLAND TIME DAY TEN OF OPERATION PACIFICA # Ministry "Paisley" _"Escape From L.A." soundtrack_ Windigo happened upon J-Rock's battered and broken body. "J-Rock?" she asked. "You ok?" Getting no response, she sniffed the body. Her nostrils were soon assailed by the smell of blood and the mustiness particular to the dying. Her hands started glowing as she started into a healing spell. "Knowing if this will help, I am not," she said. ... BACK IN THE SHADOWLANDS... "ARRRRGGH!" J-Rock screamed as he fell to his knees, clutching his torso and screwing up his face in agony. "This hurts!" "Must be your friends," Death noted impassively. "They're obviously not giving up on you just yet." J-R groaned. "If I only knew that their help would be this painful.." ... "Done, that is," Windigo said, putting the finishing touches on the wounds. Now all that was left to do was to call his soul back. However, before she could get the chance, a stream of bullets grazed various parts of her anatomy, including her right cheek and shoulder. Her world dissolved in a red haze as her pupils dilated and her body temperature rose. She turned to face the impudent Spongin who had shot her, muscles twitching as she moved. "NYAR!!" she shouted, advancing upon the Spongin hordes, Holy WarpSpasm (tm) in full fury. ... "'How have the mighty fallen in the midst of battle,'" Death quoted. "It really does not look good for the visitors, does it?" "I thought you took no side," J-Rock said. "You're right, I don't. It would be unprofessional. That doesn't mean I don't have personal preferences, however. Truth be told, I kinda like you guys. You fight against those who would stagnate free will, and I respect that." "Ah yeah, the all-seeing Endless. How soon I forget." "Unfortunately," she said as she recalled her reason for being here, "that's none of your concern now." "Oh no," J-Rock said. "It's not my time yet." "You're here, aren't you? That should be reason enough." "I don't care. IT'S! NOT! MY! TIME! TO! DIE!" "Aw, quit being such a baby and just get it over with." "I gotta help my friends down there! You cannot stop me." "But I must. Nothing personal, it's just business." "I'm afraid he's right," a man's voice said as its owner entered the room. He was dressed in a dark brown robe and cowl. A large, leather- bound book rested in the crook of one arm. "For Chrissake, Destiny, what now?" Death asked, sounding peeved. "You know exactly why I'm here. It's not his time." "It can't be! There must some mistake.." "Come now, sister, you and I both know I don't make mistakes." While that was going on, a small window opened up on the wall nearest J-Rock. "Psst!" a harsh voice whispered. "In here!" J-Rock looked. The window opened on nothing save blackness. 'Well,' he thought, 'do I really want those two yahoos to finish arguing?' "As you can see," Destiny said as he opened his book, "he shouldn't be seeing you until he's a great-grandfather!" 'I can't have possibly heard that right. Then again, it's not like that'll come true if she wins..' J-Rock crawled through the window as it shut behind him. "I don't see what you're talking about!" Death snapped. "It's not for me to pretend to know what goes on inside the god- spirits' heads," Destiny responded. "That answers a lot of questions," Death said sarcastically. "J- Rock? J-Rock?... Great. Where'd he go?" ... ELSEWHERE... J-Rock fell for what felt like forever before he landed in an open trash dumpster. Standing up and brushing himself off, he found himself in what appeared to be a back-alley street. "Great," he said. "Only in the Shadowlands can I go from the set of 'THX-1138' to Spawn's Alley." "Sorry, term," a youth's voice said behind him. "You want the Image Universe. Down that sidewalk, hang a left, and it's the third stall on the right." "Who's there?" J-Rock asked, wheeling around. The youth leaned forward into the dim light of the alley. He was an albino, by the look of him, dressed in mostly black leather with a black mesh shirt on. He even had black bondage pants on. The whole effect can be best described as Dark Schneider Meets Johnny Rotten Suffering From Albinism. "I'm bloody well not your fairy godmother," he said with a Cheshire Cat grin. J-Rock looked a little apprehensive as he started to edge toward a wall. "Relax," the punkish youth said. "I don't bite on the first date." He paused for a bit. "You hungry?" ... # Machines of Loving Grace "Golgotha Tenement Blues" _"The Crow" soundtrack_ "Feral Jackson" (for that was the name the youth gave J-R when asked) led J-Rock through a maze of dank city streets and run-down buildings, occasionally choked with the sort of people that Tim Bradstreet would gladly sell his soul just to draw. For those readers who are unfamiliar with Mr. Bradstreet's work, let's just say that calling them "shady characters" is an understatement. J-Rock, for his part, was pretty sure he had heard the name before, but the distractions of a thousand holographic and neon signs kept him from ruminating any further. The name "Feral Jackson" simply wandered around inside J-R's brain looking for something to connect with. "Ah, here we are," Feral said, stopping outside a shop. The holo-sign had an eight-armed dancer holding donuts and rice bowls in its hands, moving them around in a near-hypnotic pattern. The caption underneath called this fine eating establishment "Mahavishnu Donut". J-Rock just stood there for a couple of seconds, taking it all in. "What the hell is this place?" he asked. "Great place," Feral answered. "The only Indian take-out and donut shop in town. Now, come on. We have a lot to talk about." The two wandered in and bellied up to the bar. Feral merely ordered chicken vindaloo and a pint of Guinness (The Beer That Drinks Like A Meal). "And what will you having?" the waitress asked, her thick East Indian accent reminding J-R of a T.A. from Math Courses Long Since Passed. "Chicken bangalore phall..." -- this earned an arched eyebrow from Feral -- "...six poppadoms, a Bass, and two donuts: one blueberry and one chocolate honey-dipped." Noting Feral's suprised expression, he turned to him and said, "I'm testing out the eat-all-you-want-coz-you're-dead theory." The waitress came back with their orders, and both J-R and Feral dug in with gusto. J-Rock took one bite of his chicken, and sucked in his breath sharply. This amount of spice, he was not ready for. He shovelled in some rice with one hand while chugging the Bass with the other. At length, he exclaimed, "I said GODDAMN! Hot enough to rrroll your 'rrr's!" Feral chuckled and said, "That's why I stick with the vindaloo, term. You're not quite up to Dave Lister/MegaZone spice tolerance yet." [1] "So I gathered." J-Rock stuck with the poppadoms and donuts for the rest of the meal. After a period of silence broken only by the sounds of Feral eating, J-Rock asked, "Why are you doing all this for me?" "Let's just say that I know talent when I see it." "Ah. I see," said J-R, who didn't. "Maybe I'm not making myself clear. We also share a common interest in who to direct such aggression against. Lyrans and Purple HellWyrms come to mind, I guess." That last remark also wandered around in J-Rock's brain for something to connect with. 'Besides,' J-R thought, 'his fingernails do seem awfully long...' Feral continued with, "What if I told you I could get you back to the land of the living?" "That's it!" J-Rock exclaimed. "I remember who you are now! You're the Holy Albino, aren't ya?" "No, I'm the sneckin' Queen of England," the Albino said, his voice dripping with enough sarcasm to make CyberPyro and jry sit up and take notes. "Of course I'm the Holy Albino! Now do you wanna go back to Earth or not?" "Can you get me back to Pacifica?" "You're not dealing with any ordinary ham-on-rye god-spirit," the Albino said. "Since Teleute hasn't officially claimed you yet, it'll be as if you never even went to the Shadowlands. It's no porky, term. You could be back in your body and five minutes could have gone by in the real world. "As for the alternative, sneck.. Death can be a real tightass once she gets her paws on you, not wanting to let you go for at least five years.. And then there's childhood and puberty to go through again." "That's twenty-five years too long. Count me in." "Come on, then." The Albino left a twenty-pound note on the bar and walked out with J-Rock in tow. ... FIVE MINUTES LATER (BY SHADOWLANDS RECKONING) The two later stood on the surface of Pacifica, but the colors were somehow different. 'It's like looking at a photo negative,' J-Rock thought as he looked around for his body. Meanwhile, the Albino was already sniffing the air, facial muscles twitching as he began to turn into a Mutant Werewolf From Hell. "Lyrans! I can smell 'em. Oh, if only I could penetrate the Veil here.. I'd rip those sneckers limb from limb!" J-Rock ahem'd and said, "My body, if you please." "Ah, it's right over there. Hardly a scratch on it." The Albino gestured to where Windigo was already embroiled in a fierce battle with several elements of the M.E.N.S.A. clan. Spongin corpses lay all around the area as well. "So that's why she couldn't complete the resurrection.." Feral whispered to himself. "What was that?" J-R asked. "Never mind. You do realize that this service isn't exactly free." "Oh? What's the catch this time?" "You'll have to become one of my agents." "The Maenads?" "Yup. Once you do, you'll piss off the Lyrans more than you ever have before. They will go to great lengths to see you dead. And there's no backing off once the deal goes down. You ready?" "Absol-f**kin'-lutely." The set of J-Rock's eyes told the Albino he wasn't waffling on this one. "Lie down on your body, then." J-Rock did. "And when you get back, do whatever comes naturally. Windi'll tell you the rest. Good hunting, kid." J-Rock's world dissolved into white once again as he closed his eyes... # Iron Maiden "Heaven Can Wait" _Somewhere In Time_ ... THE OBSCURE: [1] Dave Lister is the lead character of the Brit TV show "Red Dwarf", who eats curries at almost every meal. MegaZone, aka Brian Bikowicz, is the former moderator of rec.arts.anime.creative and co-creator of the wildly popular fanfic series "Undocumented Features". He has been described as "the man who thinks Extra Hot taco sauce is water". To be continued in "And The Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"...