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From: alexbell@iastate.edu (Alex Hibbs)
Newsgroups: alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die
Subject: Operation Home Front: Gone Fishin'
Date: 13 Nov 1998 20:11:16 GMT
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa, USA
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Xref: geraldo.cc.utexas.edu alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die:72762

Operation Home Front: Gone Fishin'

Author: Trooper Cecrops, Doberman Empire

  Cecrops watched the veritable caravan of vehicles pull up into the
hotel driveway, led by Private Nathans. Cecrops waved at Nathans, and
walked over as the private obligingly pulled up next to him.

  Nathans rolled his window down, and Cecrops leaned towards him and
asked, "What's up?"

  Nathans replied, "This is Fadaus's group, they found and destroyed
the RBMNA unit down by Point Reyes."

  Cecrops smiled, at least one thing was going right. Earlier Rooker
had lost the Spongin van at a traffic stop, when he was hit by a
redlight runner. No one was hurt, and Rooker's truck only sustained
minor damage, but there was a policeman on the scene when it happened
and leaving would not look good, especially since Rooker was using his
personal vehicle.

  "So, where is Trooper Fadaus, I think I might like to have a talk
with him," Cecrops asked.

  "Sir..." Nathans started, swallowed heavily and continued. "Sir..
Fadaus died at Point Reyes...There was an ambush...He died saving the
lives of.. most of his men."

  The shock of realising Fadaus' death, and of knowing that his only
meeting with the man was resemblant of an arguement, hit Cecrops hard.
He was unaccustomed to death, and the thought that he could have had
better relations with the other Trooper instead of having left on a
negative note ate away at his emotions. The shock left him nearly
numb, only able to shake his head and mutter, "I'll be inside" to
Nathans before walking into his room and slouching into the nearest
chair.


  PFC Adams, noticing Cecrops's change in demeanor, followed him into
his room. Seeing that the Trooper was obviously in distress, Adams
asked, "What's wrong?"

  Cecrops looked up, then hung his head again. "Fadaus is dead," he
stated without much ado. "Back in Point Reyes."

  Adams was slightly taken aback by the news, but was able to maintain
his rationality. He saw that Cecrops was having a difficult time with
this. "You seem to be taking this really hard. You hardly knew the
guy. You didn't even like him, and I could tell he didn't like you. So
what's wrong?"

  Cecrops looked up at Adams. "I... I don't know." He hung his head
again. "Just so many things going wrong..."

  "Sir," Adams broke in, "You're taking this way too hard. I think
you need to rest for a while."

  "Rest? I can't rest, we've got to find the Array Element, I've got
to get a plan together, we've got to get out there, I.." Cecrops
stopped ranting and looked up at Adams.

  Adams spoke bluntly, "You've got to get your mind clear or we'll
never find that thing."

  Cecrops thought about this for a few moments. Then he began
speaking, his words coming out erraticly. "I couldn't.. Maybe.. It
would be wrong, but... No, I don't think... Adams?"

  "Yeah?" Adams asked with a start.

  "How would you like to have some command experience?"


  With his weathercoat off and a ballcap shading his face, Cecrops was
hardly recognizable at anything more than a moderate range, or so
he hoped as he cast his line out into the Petaluma River. The only
evidence that he was part of the search party was that he carried a CB
radio on his hip in case he needed to communicate with the others.

  The rest of the Dobermensch had been told that Cecrops was
relinquishing his command to Adams for a day so that the soldier
could get some experience in command situations, and that Cecrops was
still coordinating efforts from his room at the hotel. In fact,
Cecrops did give Adams a set of instructions for how to carry out the
search, but left any changes to his plans entirely up to Adams's
discretion.

  So now he was sitting back and enjoying a relaxing day of fishing
along the Petaluma River. Presently he got a bite, and after reeling
in the fish, carefully removed the hook and threw the fish back
into the water. He didn't have anywhere to cook it, and besides
he doubted that it was over the minimum size.


  Inside a darkened building, a Wyrm Minion was looking over what
remained of his squad. One of three trucks had been destroyed, and
along with it most of the weapons and ammunition. A second was
unaccounted for. The third had survived, though, and he thanked
the Lard Lord that the array element was carried in that lucky truck.

  Of his men, he had left six Spongin, each of which was beginning to
irritate him more as time went on. Of weapons, there was one automatic
rifle, and a single clip for it with about 50 rounds remaining. There
were four pistols, but very little ammunition for these, and one
Spongin carried his long knife.

  The Array Element itself sustained minor damage, which the Minion was
currently trying to repair. There were no instructions for the thing,
so he was doing the best he could with what he had.

  One of the spongin walked up to the Wyrm Minion and interrupted his
careful work with an obnoxious whine of, "I'm Booorrreed!"

  The Minion jerked up apprehensively, then turned angrily to the
Spongin. "Then do something!" he shouted.

  "There's nooothing to dooo," whined the Spongin.

  "Well, then.." The Wyrm Minion started, then thought up a job
for the Spongin. "Go patrol the building peremiter, make sure there
are none of those nasty Jihaddi out there. Take the big gun."

  "Oh, goodie!" cried the Sponge Minion with joy as he skipped
towards the big gun.

  "Don't forget to put the clip in!" shouted the Wyrm Minion.


  Cecrops was beginning to become bored with the monotonous waiting
that fishing required, so he searched for something else to do to
fill his mind. He decided on singing, or trying to since he couldn't
remember the words to the songs he was trying to sing. After forgetting
the first verse of Collective Soul's December, he tried singing
Metallica's Unforgiven, but quickly realized he didn't know two words
from that song. He then tried singing Metallica's One, but had
trouble with the words from that song as well.

  "Um, lesse... o/~ I can't remember anything / don't know if this
is real or a dream o/~.. Wait, is it "real" or "true"? Hmm.." Cecrops
started to think it over, but was quickly interupped by a shout from
behind him and to the side.

  "Heeeey!" cried out the intruder. "That's one of those of those
nasty Jihaddi songs!"

  Cecrops immediately turned his head to the source of the clearly
Spongin voice standing near a corner of a nearby warehouse. At the
moment he saw the Spongin he also felt a big tug on the end of his
line. Cecrops glanced from the Spongin to the water, back to the
Spongin who was now raising a machine gun at him. Quickly he switched
his pole to his left hand and used his right arm to raise a Shield. He
drew his body inward into a tight crouch in order to keep himself fully
protected by his Shield.

  The Spongin fired his machinegun, and Cecrops instinctively flinched
as the bullets flew towards him, some creating brilliant blue magical
sparks as they ricochetted off the shield, others penetrating part
way and sticking fast to it. Still others missed completely, and one
of these projectiles happened to sever Cecrops's fishing line.

  Cecrops shouted, "Hey! Can't you see I've got a fish on?!?" as he hid
behind his shield and tried to simultaneously keep his Shield up, keep
an eye on the Spongin firing at him, and keep his fishing rod steady.
Suddenly he felt his line go slack, and saw the broken line hanging in
the air as the Sponge Minion ran out of ammunition.

  It took a short while to dawn on Cecrops what had happened. The
Spongin had severed his fishing line with a machine gun burst, and that
said Spongin was out of ammo. When he figured this out, Cecrops became
quite angry. He dissipated his Shield and stood up.

  Cecrops reached for his pistol inside his coat, and then found out
he wasn't wearing his coat and hence was not in posession of his pistol.
Becoming quite ticked off, Cecrops rushed full force at the Sponge
Minion. "Son of a bitch!!!" he yelled lacking for a better curse as he
ran straight towards the Minion, who was trying to get his empty gun to
shoot. Cecrops swung at the Sponge and his fist landed full force on the
Minion's jaw.

  The Sponge Minion dropped back from the force of the punch, while
Cecrops stepped back and shook his fist, cursing some more at the
sting of the impact. As the Sponge recovered from the blow, Cecrops
rushed him again, this time striking up at the Sponge's jaw with an open
left hand, then punching him in his exposed throat with a right, and
following it up by kicking the Sponge Minon where even a Sponge Minion
doesn't deverve to be kicked. Often. The spongin dropped to the ground
and cowered in pain.

  Rounding the corner of what appeared to be an abandoned waterfront
warehouse, Cecrops heard a gunshot and felt a bullet fly within inches
of his face. Another missed him as he ducked back behind the corner.
Hearing the approaching footsteps, he glanced at the downed Spongin
behind him, and the Spongin's machinegun. He had had some success using
an empty machinegun as a club in his first fight with Spongin forces,
but the weapon was too far away to pick up and get out of the open
before the Spongin came around the corner. As Cecrops heard the
footsteps of the other Sponge Minion coming closer, a thought entered
his mind.


  ` I need a weapon. '


  Cecrops began to call on his rarely-tested magical powers to produce
a weapon. Not knowing at first what he wanted, he hastily decided to
concentrate a fire-based power in his right arm. His arm gave off
a dim red glow from the magical energy being accumulated thereing.
Cecrops carefully crouched low and waited for the minion to round the
corner.

  The spongin did not take much care in rounding the corner, instead
walking around as if it was a normal situation. Cecrops swung his
arm out at the Spongin, commanding the magical fire to go forth from
his arm into the Minon. The spell began to dissipate as soon as it left
Cecrops's body, and although it was able to make contact with the
Sponge Minion and leave a nasty burn mark across its abdomen, most of
the power of the magic had diffused, and Cecrops noted this failure.

  Screaming in pain, the Sponge stepped back from the Trooper, and
aimed its pistol.  Cecrops quickly brought up his Shield and stopped
the bullets, simultaneously trying to come up with another form of
offensive magic. He noted that the last spell had begun to dissipate
the moment it left contact with his body, and so decided to try
creating a weapon that would be held by his body as opposed to being
a projectile. The image of a sword came to mind. Calling upon the
same forms of power that brought the last spell, Cecrops began
concentrating on giving himself a sword.

  A light red swirling of magical energy formed a swordlike shape in
Cecrops's hand. The Sponge minion kept firing its pistol into Cecrops's
shield until it had run out of ammo, then stepped back confused, not
knowing exactly what to do. Cecrops diffused his Shield and held up
the magical Sword he had created, and noticed that it was completely
weightless. Stepping forward, he swung the Sword at the helpless
Spongin's midsection, nearly cleaving the Minion in two. The fire of
the Sword immediately cauterized the wound, and there was little blood
even for such an intense wound.

  Cecrops examined his Sword, thinking that it would probably come in
useful later. The Sword was a thin, slightly curved beam of light red
magical brilliance. Further study was interrupted as a Minion jumped
onto Cecrops's back and began pounding on his shoulders.

  "You meany Jihaddi, you hurt me!" it shouted.

  Cecrops was startled by the sudden attack, and struggled to hold
the Minion's weight upon his back. He recognized the voice of the
Spongin who he had left in a heap on the ground earlier. The surprise
had broken his concectration and the Sword disppeared from his hand.

  Ignoring the Spongin's weak pounding, Cecrops rematerialized the
Sword and brought it back over his head, plunging it into the Minion
on his back.

  The Minion made a 'glerk' sound as the weapon went through its body
and it lost its grip on Cecrops. Cecrops turned to the Minion writhing
in agony on the ground and shoved his Sword into its heart, ending
its sorry life.


  Cecrops walked around to the front of door the warehouse, tossed the
Sponge's pistol at it, heard the noise as it hit the door, and watched
a veritable hail of bullets pass through it. Deciding against going in
the front door, he walked around the building. Seeing a small, high
window, he picked up a large rock, picked a good spot to throw it from,
and tossed it through the window. Not surprisingly, a flurry of shots
went through the wall, but not as many as before. Cecrops was assuming
that those inside the building were as low on ammunition as the two he
had already faced, who had ran out surprisingly quickly. In addition,
he could hear that the weapons being used now were light arms.

  After another few bluffs to lessen the spongin ammunition supply,
Cecrops walked up to a bulletridden spot in the wall. He materialized
a Sword in each hand and gave the wall a slash with each, then
quickly crouched while making the swords disappear and replacing them
with his Shield. Not a moment too soon, as more shots came from the
building through the wall, some hitting the Shield, the others passing
over his head.

  Cecrops made another slash/duck/Shield action, then peered through
a bullet hole in the wall. While unable to hear anything, he could
make out the forms of 4 people in the dim sunlight that passed through
where there used to be windows. Two of the people were carrying blunt
weapons, one holding a 2x4 and the other with a long wrench, and were
walking to eaither side of where Cecrops was planning to break into
the building. Of the other two, one carried a single pistol, the
other had one in each hand and was gesturing to the others, apparently
the leader.

  Instead of weakening the wall again, this time Cecrops thrust his
Swords through the wall where he believed the two hopeful ambushers
would be. Hearing the screams of Spongin in pain told him he had guessed
right, and he now quickly ducked down behind his Shield to fend off
the flurry of bullets from the vengeful Minions still standing.

  Once the bullets stopped flying, Cecrops looked through a hole in
the wall again. Seeing that they Spongin were reloading, he quickly
brought out the Swords and slashed at the wall a couple times before
kicking the weakened section in to create a new door.

  Jumping inside, Cecrops saw the two Minions raise their pistols at
him. Quickly ducking behind his Shield, he waited out until the
Minions had run out of ammunition. Once they had almost obligingly
done so, he stood up and brought forth the Swords again, one in each
hand, and rushed toward the one he assumed was the leader, the
one with two pistols. The Wyrm Minion ducked Cecrops's first swing,
but the second decapitated him. Cecrops turned to the remaining
Minion, who had the good sense to use a weapon other than an unloaded
gun, in this instance the a long knife. The Sponge Minion swung at
Cecrops, who took a step to the side and brought up a Sword to block
the swing.


  The next thing Cecrops knew, he was on the ground and in a great deal
of pain, clutching at his left arm. He took his right hand off his arm
and looked at it, seeing it was covered in blood.

  Suddenly Cecrops regained his bearings and brought his right hand up
to block the downward knife thrust of the Sponge Minion, grappling
onto the Minion's wrist and struggling to push it away. Feeling
weakened, he was not sure he could outlast the Minion with strength
alone. Once again Cecrops called upon hidden magic powers to come to
his aid. He noticed that with some pain, he could lift his left arm.
Calling his magic strength into that arm, he contrived a spell to push
the Minion away.

  Cecrops's left hand began to glow red with power as the magic took
effect. A beam fired from his hand, and the Minion began to rise off
him. Using his physical strength, Cecrops pushed the unstable Minion
away from him, and was able to push it over onto the ground. Rising
slowly, Cecrops formed a Sword in his good arm's hand, walked over
to the Minion, and finished him with a few slashes to the midsection.


  Looking around the room, Cecrops saw a pyrmidical device in one
corner. More likely than not, this was the RBNMA. Remembering now that
he had a CB, he turned it on.


  "This is Trooper Cecrops, I have something important to announce."

  "We read you Cecrops, glad to hear from you today. Are you all right?
You don't sound so well."

  "I.." Cecrops started, then looked at his arm. "I will be needing
medical attention. But that's not important, what is is I've found the
RBNMA."

  "Come again?"

  "The array element! I found it, in a warehouse by the D street bridge.
Come quick."

  "On our way. By the way, be advised that we've recieved reports of
spongin activity in Napa, and they seem to be on the move, headed in our
direction. We don't know if this has anything to do with us or not, but
be on the lookout."

  "Aknowledged. Cecrops out."


  Trooper Cecrops pondered the situation. If the spongin were on their
way to the RBNMA element and were able to recapture it, he might not
have to worry much because they'd do it over his dead body, but he
refused for there to be any chance of him letting the world down.
Bringing his Sword into existance, he walked over to the RBNMA
element, and -


  "DON'T!"


  The voice came from behind him. Cecrops turned around to see the
same Brother of Grimace who had assisted him after his earlier
struggle, stepping into the building through the hole in the wall.

  Cecrops asked the Brother, "Why not? We have to destroy these
things... Don't we?"

  The Brother walked towards Cecrops, saying, "By capturing one of
these, we can discover the principles of how it works. It will
help us to better dectect the others, and knowing how to use these
we might be able to turn them against the forces of B'harnii."

  Cecrops lowered his arm, and caused the Sword to disappear.

  The Brother stood in front of Cecrops, smiled, and said, "I see
that you have been using more of your magic recently."

  "Ohyeah," Cecrops muttered, that was an understatement.

  "I see you are injured," the Brother pointed out. "I will teleport
you to one of our bases, you will find treatment there."

  "Oh, no," Cecrops objected, "No teleporting. That stuff hurts.
I'm not going through it again."

  The Brother sighed. "I admit I was surprised at your reaction to
the last teleport. It is a painless matter for most people."

  "Well, I guess I'm not most people," Cecrops stated. "And I'm
not going to let myself get teleported again."

  The Brother of Grimace stood for a moment in quiet thought, then
saying, "I think I can make it relatively painless for you."

  "Relatively?" Cecrops asked skeptically.

  "Well," the Brother explained, "If this works, you will feel no
pain during the actual teleportation."

  "So what's with the 'relatively'?" asked a doubtful Cecrops.

  "You might have a bit of a hangover afterwards, but an aspirin
should take care of it." the Brother clarified.

  "Is that it?" Cecrops asked.

  The Brother nodded. "That's it."

  Cecrops thought about this for a moment, and then realised that with
the wound in his arm, he would need some medical treatment pretty
fast. If the Brother lived up to the promise, then he would have
lost nothing.

  "I'll try it." Cecrops accepted.

  "All right, just hold still for a second," the Brother admonished.
The last thing Cecrops remembered was the Brother of Grimace raising
his staff, and then bringing it down over the Trooper's head.

To be continued...